Filed under sports

when you’re out of fuel, i’m still afloat, puking and shivering

Sunday I learned that I like songs about surfing much more than the actual act. There’s something about swallowing all that seawater and relying on my spindly arms for propulsion and being so terribly cold that isn’t really conveyed in the melodies of the Beach Boys.

The members of our house got a deal on surfing lessons and so we took them. At the time Holly said “Really?” when I said I’d try too. And yes, surfing probably was never going to really be for me, but I’m here in Australia and it seemed like something I should do when I’m here. I mean, I haven’t had the chance to manhandle koalas or introduce an invasive species or anything. But surfing I could at least try. Maybe I would really like it.

I didn’t.

It might have been better if I’d had a wetsuit that actually fit me. Supposedly they’re supposed to let a little water in but it gets stuck in there and your body warms it up and you’re all insulated. When you’re skinny and wearing a rented wetsuit that’s flopping around and isn’t close to being tight, the water just flows through and it’s like you’re just splashing around in the cold cold ocean. Which I don’t really do for enjoyment.

I ended up bailing out after being flung around by the sea enough to know that the fleeting moment of being pushed along by the sea trying to touch the moon wasn’t worth the pain and pukiness.

The instructors were good about coming to check on me sitting on the beach and shivering, to make sure I was all right. But the one guy said I would have really enjoyed myself if I’d gone back in. I know myself well enough to be able to call him on that lie, but he was just a twenty-year-old trying to talk about the stuff he loved to do, so I just told him not to worry. I did not explain how little my body and I have in common, and how little trust there is between us, and how that trust was easily shattered and wasn’t going to be repaired by heading out into the ocean again to get even colder.

So yes, I have tried surfing. I don’t live everything completely secondhand. Which was kind of the point of that endeavour.

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decadence and depravity so completely optional

Today was the something-or-otherth running of the Melbourne Cup, a massive horse race in Melbourne (though if you watched any of it you might be forgiven for thinking it took place in an Emirates airliner). Despite my work history I know and care very little about horse-racing. I know how the bets work but couldn’t handicap a horse if my two dollars depended on it. Which it did. I will now spoil the ending to this story by revealing that I am not now a millionaire due to my horse-picking skills. Nor a thousandaire.

A couple of weeks ago Edmund asked if I was interested in going to a lunch for the Melbourne Cup as a “team-building exercise.” The three of us from the office would go to a lunch at the Art Gallery where an ABC announcer would be calling the race and there’d be champagne and classy hats and it would all be an appropriately glamorous event. I said sure, and Edmund bought tickets to the fancy lunch.

I was prepared for displays of wealth and/or the aspirations towards wealth and got my observational mind ready to take notes. I mean, that’s what writers do at horse races, right? Observe the people who care about the sport of kings and how utterly appropriately they behave in accordance with those aspirations. So today I wore a tie for camouflage and was ready for Derby-day-esque 1% shenanigans.

We were in the elevator heading down to Edmund’s car when he was looking at the tickets we had. And he paused. “The National Gallery of Art? That’s not what they call it.” The three of us shared consternation (in glancing and frowning form). Edmund had a terrible feeling that was confirmed when we went back up to the office to check the internet: this lunch was in Canberra.

This is the hazard of buying things bound to locations in a medium that is so locationless, I guess. I saw the email Edmund had received and it didn’t actually say Canberra anywhere on it.

So we went for lunch at the nearby Thai place, bought a bottle of champagne and stopped off at a TAB to place a couple of bets before returning to the office to watch the race on our television with poor reception. It was a fine race. Edmund’s horse won, which goes a little way towards offsetting the donation he made to the National Gallery of Art.

And that is my Melbourne Cup story.

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i have (a few, weakly-held) opinions about sports

One of the things that I enjoy about living in different places is the difference in sports people play/watch. I guess it’s because sports are kind of like games (which I love) except they require more physical effort than I’m willing to engage in most of the time. I can take a bit of an interest in what people do to satisfy their practical day to day needs, but what I get excited about is the pointless shit people pour themselves into like inventing people and having them converse, or painting little pieces of plastic and using other pieces of plastic to determine whether awesome or terrible stuff happened to the first pieces of plastic, or whether one group of people can get an object to a place while another group of people tries to prevent that. That shit is gold.

Rugby is big here. So far I missed game one of the big NSW vs Queensland Rugby Union grudge match (State of Origin) through my own forgetfulness. NSW, where I live, lost, so maybe the next one will have even more riding on it? That’s Rugby Union, which is actually less popular. Rugby League has the big pro league. There are a tonne of teams just from Sydney it seems. Technically I think I live in Rabbitohs territory but a case could be made for me being a Wests [sic] Tigers supporter.

When I turn on my TV every once in a while the game I see most though is Aussie Rules Football, which is kind of awesome. I’d tried to learn a bit about rugby many years ago for Tri-Nations (that’s union), so I had a bit of a grasp of how the game worked. Aussie Rules is crazy awesome. They’re allowed forward passes but you can’t throw the ball, only kick or hit it with your fist. If you catch the ball cleanly in the air you get a free kick from the spot you caught it. The point is to get the ball between two narrow uprights for 6(?) points or two wider ones for 1. It’s on a round field and they’re just running all the time. It reminds me more of something like Ultimate than football or rugby, really.

And then there’s netball. This is like basketball except there’s no dribbling: when you catch the ball you have to stay there and throw it. There’re also no backboards to the nets (which are a bit lower than basketball I think) so you’ve basically got to be right under it to score. It’s always women playing it on TV, so I imagine it’s not deemed the most masculine of sports.

There is a baseball league but it’s a summer sport so I haven’t seen it yet. I’ll probably drag Holly to a game in November so I can come home with a Sydney Blue Sox hat.

Woo. Sport in Australia. I thought about doing this half-assed summary because Sean (who got me into blogging so many years ago) is doing some great work with his Bastard Bomber Fans blog. It’s about CFL football, and the Blue Bombers in particular, and is exactly the kind of thing Sean should be writing. Dude knows his football, and cares about it too. And reading his analyses after the fact means I don’t have to feel bad about asking dumb questions or stating obvious things to try and appear like I know what’s going on during the game. As in all games throughout history, everybody wins!

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elves! cartoon elves!

After work today I went for a walk into Glebe. (Sydney’s neighbourhoods have some excellent names. I like living in Ultimo, which was named after a giant robot foe from the Avengers.) To get to Glebe from the office I cross a park. There’s another, more direct way that takes you past a couple of supermarkets but I was saving that for the loop back. And if I’d gone that way I wouldn’t be able to tell you about what is in this park.

There is a dog-racing track in this park. It has big modern stands and a gate and apparently on Friday nights greyhounds race, because the floodlights were on and the gravel patch near the exercise equipment was full to the chock of vehicles with greyhound-sized trailers and three out of four people in the park were walking these wispy sad-looking animals. (Sad-looking because of their buggy eyes in their skinny heads not because they seemed abused or anything.)

The actual track was still empty and I couldn’t see any way in that was on my path, so I didn’t hang around to check if there were actual mechanical rabbits involved or what have you. It all looked much nicer and less grotty than I’d pictured dog-tracks. Much more modern-looking than the horse-track I used to work at.

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so close to vagabondery

Yesterday I did my advance voting and there was an Indian gentleman in line in front of me. He was probably in his fifties or sixties and he was pissed off at the election volunteers. See, he gave them ID when they asked and then they had the temerity to ask for something with his address on it (as per Elections Canada rules). He seemed to take it as an affront to his citizenship, saying stuff like “I have lived here for these forty years! You are wrong” Why do you want me not to vote? Fine! I will not vote!” The volunteers were saying that they just needed a bill or something that proved he was voting in the correct place, but he was just angry and convinced everyone was stupid but him. After the supervisor came over to help, he stormed out, leaving his passport behind so he could go get “some stupid piece of paper that I don’t even need!” They were really happy when I was easy to manage.

Then I picked up a pile of great books from Abraham, one of my classmates. A whole shwack of stuff about Chinese history and language and religion, plus a bunch of Italo Calvino books. So good. He’s pared down his books to two boxes which is really impressive. Some days I feel like I’d like to do that. But my books are important to me. I’m not as conflicted about them as I was last year. We’ll see how I feel when I move them away from Vancouver.

And today I packed up all my books and clothes into my storage space. I was very conscious of the order I put stuff in there today, so the most necessary books are more accessible than the infamous theology books. Also, my winter gear is right at the front and accessible for when Holly and I return in December from the height of Antipodean summer and stop off to go to Virginia for Xmas (and for me to make Santa Claus jokes I’m sure no one in that state has ever heard).

I like living in a city undergoing a traumatic sporting event. Everywhere today, people have been talking about this Canucks game tonight. The buses always have their Go Canucks Go signs in their lights, but today they felt a little more urgent. At the van rental place the guy said they might be closed by the time I returned the van “because, y’know, the game.” We’re hosting (I say “we” and “hosting” in the same sentence like I’m actually doing stuff beyond showing up – hell, Marlis is cleaning the kitchen right now while I type) a potluck tonight but it came to our attention that we’ll need to have the hockey streaming or else everyone would stay home. I doubt it’ll be like this in Winnipeg if they really do get an NHL team back, but maybe I’m just a pessimist.

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sometimes a man just has to chase a non-existent bird

I left Vancouver two days after my first two terms of library school ended. There was a band sleeping on the floor of Brenda and Marlis’ living room when I left. I hope I didn’t disturb them too badly.

On the plane to Calgary, which is a much shorter trip than I’d expected, I watched part of Tron Legacy and was glad I didn’t ever pay any money to see it. I’d had a tentative deal with Caroline to come have coffee at the scenic airport if Pasiley’s sibling wasn’t in the process of being born, but she was sick and neither of us wanted to risk a YYC Tim Hortons delivery, just in case, so I killed my hours going through security and debating whether to eat or not. I had a bagel.

Flying to Montreal I realized this was the first trip I’ve taken in a long time where there wasn’t someone on the other end waiting for me (maybe not at the airport, but eventually). I mean, sure, I’ll be meeting up with my supervisor at the library on Monday but I’ll be meeting her for the first time then. It left me a little more nervous than I’d have thought I’d be. But everything went fine. Montreal felt like a foreign city, with all the language. On the flight the guy in the next seat asked where I was from and if I spoke French. I said no, not even Prairie French, really. Probably oversensitively I figured he took pity on me after that, all trying to make things easier for me, but really just putting me in a limbo space of language. Whatever. On the flight I also watched True Grit, which had enough differences from the John Wayne version to keep me on my toes, scene by scene (and was quite good, regardless).

I got to Montreal and took the bus into the city, stayed the night at a youth hostel and then this morning went to the bus station and got on the Boston-bound bus (after a good bit of wandering and finding the exact style of place I’d want to live in if I lived in Montreal). Crossing the border on a greyhound was weird. We all got put into a room where we could listen to the two agents question everyone ahead of us. Sometimes people would be asked to go into the main hall, but they all did eventually return to the bus I think. The customs guy asked why I was going to White River Junction and I said I was going to go hang out at the Center for Cartooning Studies for a couple of weeks. “Why?” “I’m a library student. They’ve got an awesome comics library. And Lynda Barry is coming to give a talk.” “And you crossed the country for this?” Eventually after showing him I had a return ticket to Canada he let me through.

Vermont is really pretty. Lots of trees and since the highway doesn’t cut through the rock the way it does up in the Canadian Shield but goes over the hills, you get a sense of the place. Very similar to the Pacific Northwest and some of the valleys we drove through there, but intensified. And browner. They have winter here and though most of the snow has melted it isn’t very green.

And now I’m in White River Junction. The Greyhound stop is about a mile up the highway from the historic district, where my hotel named after a president is, so I felt a little like a high plains drifter coming into this brick-fronted town with my laptop and my little bundle of clothes. It was beautiful out earlier when I went to buy groceries but now it’s raining. The guy at the desk here said the bar next door shows a lot of baseball (we’re in Red Sox territory), but has been known to switch to hockey on occasion. I might head out in an hour or so to see.

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spike and celebratory dance

And my last week of my first semester back at school begins. It kind of began last Thursday since that was when I had a week before I left. Now I’m down to just a few days. And all that’s left is a group presentation and the handing in of finished assignments. (My other blog‘s front page is filled with posts about libraries using Twitter right now. It’s for a blogging assignment.)

Watching the Grey Cup yesterday was interesting. It was at Ken’s apartment (Ken is my roommate Marlis’ boyfriend) and most of the spectators seemed more interested in their NFL fantasy teams. And there was such complaining about CFL rules! I wish I had the knowledge of our game to be able to defend our rouges that “just reward failure” and our lack of a fair catch rule, but I don’t. So I sat quietly watching the game. I couldn’t really tell if it was a good game or a bad game, but it was a close one so I stayed with it. And enjoyed that dramatic play at the end when Durant evaded the sack then threw a pick.

I leave for 中国 on a Thursday which can’t come soon enough.

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my racing heart says whee!

For the second time in two days I put my bike’s brake to the test on my way home. Yesterday it was because of a car not paying attention as he cruised through one of those traffic-calmed intersections with the obstruction in the centre. I don’t know exactly what the protocol is but I feel like he was the crosser of my street so I had the right of way. Probably hard to say. My brake worked and so did his and nobody got hurt. He got scowled at so his feelings may have been hurt. I apologize for nothing.

Today I was coming down the big hill on 10th going down to Alma. It’s an awesome hill, with a view of the city and no crazy traffic jumping out into your way. I’m always careful because there’s a traffic light at the bottom so I don’t just let myself go pell-mell, but I get up to a good gravity-fuelled pace. Once past the traffic signal tonight though I was approaching the next one (still at a good clip) where there was the line of stopped traffic and a line of parked cars.

“That’s fine,” I thought. “Plenty of room between the two.”

And then another car, an Audi, joins the traffic line, but a lot closer to the parked cars.

“Okay, I’ll slow down a bit to get through that gap. Hm. That gap looks a lot smaller than it should.”

And then I realize that the Audi is completely blocking my path through the traffic and I was not going to be able to get through, so I slam on my brake. Skid skid skid because the ground’s still wet from all the rain that was fucking miserable to bike through last night (which is normal Vancouver weather, I have to remember). While I was skidding I debated whether it was better to hit the parked car or the Audi, decided on the Audi who’d blocked my path, but managed to stop with more than a foot to spare.

I cussed out the Audi driver, but he didn’t notice because the traffic line had already begun moving. I hope it wasn’t you in that car.

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eating crappy chocolate

I’ve been casually working along this weekend. Not finishing anything but making sure I don’t have anything that hasn’t been looked at. Right now my weirdest assignment (a web presentation) is staying weird because of my topic. It’s not going to be very academic I don’t think, even though it’s referring to a lot of sort-of academic work. The problem is that it’s a static webpage presentation, which isn’t how anyone would present this kind of information these days. It reminds me of the project we did for Benedetti’s New Media class years ago.

I’ve really been loving this baseball postseason. The Giants are such a scrapheap team with great pitching. The Rangers are this anonymous team plus Cliff Lee. It’s just a good story all around. Supposedly it’s been terrible for the TV ratings, but fuck TV ratings. I just like baseball. And this has been way better than just seeing the Yankees and Phillies again (sorry Doc).

I feel a little bad about cheering for the Giants since I don’t have a problem with the Dodgers either. I cheer for them against most teams. My best-broken-in baseball hat is my Dodgers cap. And it’s supposed to be a Red Sox vs. Yankees style rivalry that I’m playing both sides of here. Whatever. I told my mom who was playing in the World Series and she immediately said she was cheering for San Francisco. She’s more a fan of the city than of the team.

Thirty-three days till 中国. And the cold wet uninsulated 四川 winter. And Holly. And being very happy.

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