Tag Archives: family

merry xwingmas

In the past I loved Christmas, but being far from Winnipeg just over half the Decembers since I stopped living at home has kind of made the need to be with family and do the same things as always sort of less appealing. I like the idea of Xmas traditions and getting together with loved ones and all that, but I like it better with a bit of detachment.

I like being in a country where Xmas isn’t celebrated (or is done with hitting people with inflatable bats for some reason) and having a few people you make something kind of holidayish with. Last year I got to hang out with Holly’s family and I really liked it. I like seeing what other people’s traditions are and fitting into them as best I can.

This year though, I didn’t do anything for Xmas. Scheduling at work is crazy because ’tis the season to take time off. I didn’t have many holiday days anyway, and my mom is going to India, so heading home was a bit less of a draw, since I’d have had to crash friends’ family things. So here I am. I bought myself a Lego set, as that is the traditional Xmas gift in my home, wherever it may be.

Xwingmas from J Unrau on Vimeo.

And now I’m going to watch the good Star Wars movies. Merry Xmas, happy new year and I’m glad the days’ll only get longer for the next few months.

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xmas in virginia

We did eventually see some snow in Virginia. It was out in the woods when we were tramping around and ran into a few West Virginia guys hunting a “burr,” which took some of us a few moments to interpret as ‘bear.’ They had dogs and walkie talkies and later we learned from people of the hunting persuasion that they were probably just doing it for sport. Once they tree the bear with the dogs they let it go again just to say they did it.

This was a couple of days after Xmas though. Maybe I should stay on topic.

We spent Xmas eve over with Holly’s mom’s family and Xmas day we went to her dad’s family. It was interesting hanging around in all these family dynamics that don’t really have much to do with me but that I’ve heard of over the years. (And before you make comments about me marrying into those families one day, you should probably know that Holly and I aren’t planning a future together any more. Which is to say we’ve broken up or parted ways or something else that means we aren’t a couple any longer. We still reciprocally think of each other as a fine person.) I got to talk to people and compare what I thought with what someone much closer to the situation has thought. All very neat. I got to give a library spiel often and listened to the ways other families interact. Holly’s Mom’s family reminded me more of my extended family on my dad’s side, and Holly’s Dad’s of my mom’s. But different. You know, the way people are different.

Of course we ate a lot.

I actually ate pretty terribly the whole time I was there, and have no one but myself to blame. There was a table filled with chocolate and sweets and pie and cookies and it was just there all the time. It was like Halloween for ten days and I couldn’t go find a damned vegetable. The veggies were there, behind the door of the fridge, but that door felt so daunting compared to slightly underdone peanut blossoms that were right there in my path.

We read a whole lot and did not go to Bootville on Holly’s 30th birthday, which would have been fun, because it was called Bootville. It was a rather low-key affair, punctuated by me reading The Graveyard Book aloud.

When we finally left Harrisonburg on the 30th I felt like I’d gotten a good feel for what small-town/rural life might be like. I don’t think of myself as an entirely urban person, since most of my life was spent in little old Winnipeg. But a place like Harrisonburg (especially a half-hour drive from town like where Holly’s parents live) is more different than I’d really thought about.

Then we went to Pennsylvannia to slaughter hogs and I was plunged much further out of my element. But that story needs pictures so it’ll have to wait.

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no arguing theology at a funeral

A week and a half ago my grandma died. She was the last of my grandparents. So I flew back to Winnipeg for the funeral over the weekend. As far as funerals go, it seemed fine. There was coffee and food at the viewing (not in the exact same space as the viewing; in a separate room so as not to get any crumbs on grandma) and the minister read her obituary and mangled everyone’s names. He did better at the funeral proper.

I hadn’t seen a lot of grandma in the past year or so. Even when I lived in Winnipeg I didn’t go over to hang out without my mom or anything. Last time I’d seen her was June or maybe July, when she’d just moved out to Niverville. Even then she’d lost a lot of weight, so I wasn’t too astonished at how little she looked like my stocky good-for-plow grandma in the casket. Wax and bone and un-permed hair is what was left for us to bury.

My cousin represented the grandchildren in the funeral service, and she told stories about food and games, all the normal grandmother kinds of things. She also told a story about how grandma’d been praying to die since she was 10. I didn’t remember that story. I remembered Grandma being ready to die for years though. Mom hated when she talked like that. But in the last couple of years it started to make sense. (To me. None of this is me speaking for my mother here. If you find this disrespectful, it’s all me.)

The minister who did the service wasn’t too bad. Grandma picked him beforehand, saying “he may not look like much but he gives a good sermon.” And though he talked about a lot of crap I find ridiculous, it was the kind of crap that grandma believed so I’d be a bit of an asshole for debating it or shaking my head in too superior a fashion. But at the gravesite in among the rest of the going home kind of talk, he said “Trudie’s now in a better place than she was in the last years of her life.” I appreciated that. It acknowledged that she’d wanted to die for a long time, felt she was done, but also recognized that she’d had better years in this vale of tears, times that were better than some notional afterlife.

But snicker as I might at notions of afterlife, I still do love old-timey gospel songs about dying. Much better than hymns. If you ever ask me to arrange a funeral that’s all it’s going to be. Fair warning.

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sex drugs and spoken word

I don’t think I’ve been this blah about returning home in a long time. It’s not like I was out of money. Longer visas than a month are possible. And I wasn’t sick of hanging out with Holly. Ha. But still, here I am. Far away.

We spent New Year’s Eve with our friends Michelle & James in Chengdu. We had dinner at their apartment (which thankfully had the heat on) with a couple of their friends and then went out. There was a Euro techno-style DJ at the place we went, who seemed very good technically, and if I was into that kind of music I probably would have really liked it. There was another foreigner in a red track jacket who was hanging around the DJ a lot, kind of being nosy, like a small dog that wants to see what’s going on. Red jacket was given the chance to spin a few records and well, yeah, it was obvious he’s not super experienced. He fumbled around a bit, not matching things up quite right. But the music he was using was way more to my taste than the first guy. If I saw Red Jacket a year from now I’d probably like him a lot more. But I didn’t see him in the future. I saw him four days ago at the beginning of 2011 when he still sucked.

The male female ratio in our group was skimpy on the estrogenous, and became moreso when Holly and I left around 2 (because Holly’s 1/3 of the female contingent was much more significant than my 1/12 of the male). The first cabdriver wanted to charge us 50Y for a 20Y ride. We were already sitting in the back seat and when he told Holly that the apartment was too far away we got out again to get into the cab behind him. (The second didn’t try anything funny.) The next day James had a theory that that first cabdriver was actually off-duty and just looking for someone the right amount of drunk for something like that to work. And maybe he did. There were a lot of people in that bar.

New Year’s Day we spent reading on the couches of James & Michelle’s. Then we watched Moon. I love that movie so much. And then Holly and I went to the good Turkish restaurant, where the food wasn’t quite as good as the last time we had it, back in the summer, the night before we left for Winnipeg.

And that’s part of the blahness. Last time we parted Holly was heading back to see her family so she was excited. And I was about to move to Vancouver so I had distraction aplenty. This time I just came back to take more courses, which is less new and exciting. Especially since I was prepared at some level to be a library school dropout. Not a really prominent level, obviously. I worry about my inability to make the grand over-the-top gesture of throwing away a career(ish) for love. I mean, it’s probably for the best. Especially when Holly gets here for good, but now at the beginning of the term it just feels crappy.

Anyway, once assignments start piling up, it should be a little distracting, right? At least enough for the next six weeks.

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seasonal reasoning

This is my fourth day off work in a row, which has been great. In order not to spoil it I’ve been ignoring condo corporation emails, though from the snippets that are visible in my inbox it appears there’s a bunch of sniping going on at our property manager. I have no desire to get in there at all. I’m enjoying the end of my weekend. Tomorrow.

Friday I watched Battlestar Galactica in the morning and then went to get tattooed in the afternoon. I didn’t know I was going to get tattooed. I was fully planning to go down, make an appointment and then wander in the village a little while. But the kid behind the counter asked if I was free, and I was, and so was an artist, and now I’ve got twice as much ink on my arms as I did before. (Still a very small quantity of ink, all told.)

Friday night was a party at Michael’s. I showed up late but had some really interesting conversation. A big conversation about the Mental Healthcare system went on, which isn’t something I know very much about at all. I stayed on the sidelines, acting a bit as an audience, but that’s a role I’m good at filling so yeah.

Saturday was Unrau family Xmas and I saw my cousins and played video games with my once-removed cousins. Oh, they had a karaoke Xbox game, so after people had been mumbling through Christmas carols (and I’d been hiding in the kitchen) for a while, Austin and I closed the singing off with U Can’t Touch This. Done really quite poorly. But it was fun.

The Danny Michel concert on Saturday was super. Danny Michel has actually spoiled me for basically every other live show ever. I want everyone else to be as funny and not taking himself super seriously but also sincere and not stagey as he does his inbetween song bits. The fact that he builds these great soundscapes with his loop pedals and shit is icing. They were recording the show (along with the Friday night edition) for a live CD so he paused to redo lines sometimes. In Tennessee Tobacco he explained that everyone clapping along was probably going to be a problem, recording wise, because he doesn’t actually play in time. I loved the songs where he sat at the piano. My favourite of the evening was his piano version of Valley of Doom, which was sad and dark and a lot creepier without any guitars.

Then off to Sean’s, where we ate burnt ochre velvet cupcakes and stacked chairs and generally had a good time drinking whisky. I may have been the only one drinking whisky. But I didn’t tell anyone off so it counts as a win.

Sunday Kate was in town before heading off to Europe in a couple of weeks and we went for lunch to a Portuguese restaurant, and set up her blog, and then off to my Mom’s for dinner, where Kate was a very good conversationalist. There was a big thing on why/how people make judgments about people, which was a sort of voluble discussion about race. Mom tried to head it off (in an “Agh! Don’t get angry!” kind of way) but the academics kept charging forward, and actually agreeing with each other more than you’d think from the volume. Good times.

And now here I am. I’ve got a book review to write, and Traveller to play this evening. This weekend was pretty much the part of Xmas I was most looking forward to, so I’m glad it met expectations. Go me.

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happy birthday grandma

There is no simple practical way to split the audio from the video in iMovie. Do you realize how fucking ridiculous that fucking fuckshit is? It wants me to import a clip into my project, then import another version of just the audio, then import the B-Roll footage making sure it’s at the end of the now extended project, then cut precisely the amount of video from the initial clip then move the B-Roll into place, then mute the B-Roll and the initial clip and god fucking help you if there’s the slightest miscue because then your audio gets chopped off the end because it is a fucking goddamn piece of shit-smearing stab stab stab my fucking eyes.

And the video is horrible because I couldn’t get a decent white balance in that room with the mix of light. Everything’s murky orange and grey and this whole thing is just an ugly disgusting mess. Grandma gets her VHS copy but there is no way I’m making DVDs for anyone else of this garbage that looks like it came from 1983.

UPDATE: I now have software that works and am less angry about the whole thing. It will still be ugly as shit but now I won’t have to break my brain getting it all together.

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not a book review

So I’ve had a lousy week, one filled not with madness and poop but anticipation and frustration that would sound a lot like whining if I were to fill the blog with it. And I like to keep my whining restricted to the cold.

Saturday was my grandmother’s 90th birthday party (which I am currently reliving as the video I shot is imported to the computer in real time because my camera’s five years old). Afterwards there was an impromptu party at my mom’s which was much more fun. One of my mom’s cousins had spent time in China and I felt bad about my role in legitimizing the vaguely off comments he made. He was talking about a tour guide in Beijing saying “Isn’t it wonderful how the government makes it only rain at night?” And I tried to explain where that might have come from without calling him a liar or making myself an apologist for a government I’m not a huge fan of. I messed it up and sort of supported his stereotyping in my desire to not get into an argument with a stranger. Boourns Justin.

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expansion complete

The wedding went fine and people had fun. Hooray and congratulations. Pictures are up on flickr. And yes they’re a little grainier than I might have preferred, but I accidentally bumped my ISO up to 200 which my camera’s little sensor doesn’t like too much. I was very busy (and wasn’t the official photographer anyway) so I didn’t take any really neat pictures. Sorry. (I do like this one of Sri though.)

It seems that all the work of carefully picking songs was fairly pointless for that crowd. Note for the future: all Mom’s family ever wants to hear is Johnny Cash or something you can two-step to. Ever. Seriously, future self, why are you even thinking about playing anygoddamnedthing else? You are truly a fool. Ahem. So I’m glad I did end up bringing the laptop instead of just running off iPods as it was much easier to change things on the fly. People danced, which made my mom happy. (Although when I started picking music weeks ago she specifically said “Oh no, it’s not a dance; it’s a house party!” so what I had was mostly along those lines.)

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book review: man in the dark

Paul Auster’s Man in the Dark was short and a good example of why genre labels are weird. Though this one has a reality shifting character who travels between this world and a world where America is in civil war (and the Yankees and Rockettes have switched roles), because it’s Paul Auster it counts as literature. Weird as hell, but not to be found in the SF section. It’s a short book and as always when I finished it I asked myself why I don’t own everything he’s ever written.

I was trying to read it yesterday on my way out to a family gathering but got dirty looks from the people I shared the back seat of Sri’s Civic with. It was important I listen to the litany of death crime and fear that comes out of my aunt’s mouth I guess, instead of reading about a man with a broken leg and his creation who doesn’t want to kill him. Selah.

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plus high speed internet

Yesterday I went out to visit my cousins Tara & Joey with my cousins Austin & Darlene. Well, technically only the first of each of those pairings are my cousins, the latter halves being their spouses, but they’re basically my cousins, and will be considered to be so for the duration of this post.

Anyway. We went out to near Neepawa where Tara & Joey live in a very well lit house (I really love all their windows) with their horses, dogs and 2-year-old son. It was cold but we had no car trouble going or coming, just a lot of frost on the windows from conversation.

Out there we played Settlers of Catan and watched Ethan interact with Austin & Darlene’s dog. It was good to have a game to play since I find I’m bad at just visiting-style visiting.

I could live out in the country in a place like Tara & Joey have. Not even necessarily as nice a house (I’d think more in terms of a tinyhouse) but in a bunch of trees with a creek and an island and the occasional bear and cougar wandering through. And stars. Lots of stars.

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