Tagged with future

My new place here is very different from living at Brenda and Marlis’. It feels more like what I think of Vancouver being like from the outside. I’ve got all that City of Glass stuff surrounding me now (that’d be the Douglas Coupland book, not the Paul Auster one, which is about New York).

This afternoon as I was wandering around getting acquainted with the neighbourhood (Coal Harbour) I walked down to the water and watched little seaplanes at the Harbour Airport. Across the water was North Vancouver with a mountain behind it. To my left, islands and Stanley Park all filled with trees. It was cool but not freezing and ships were passing by, far away. It felt very Pacific-Canadian, very much like how it should feel to be here.

I’m going to start taking more pictures, I think. I mean, I live here now. I want to start to get attached to the city, to make it feel like home. It’s harder to do that when you’re thinking of leaving again in a few months. But I think I’m going to try to stay when I’m done my degree. All I need to do that is to find work, right?

being in vancouver

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your troubles in your old kit bag

So in two(!) days I’ll be getting on a plane bound for Australia. My Occupational Training visa has not come through yet,and last week this was a cause for much anguish. The Easter weekend and the time delay in sending things around the globe means there’s little chance this visa will be ready for me to begin work in a week as scheduled.

But. I have a tourist visa to enter the country. And really, there’s nothing I can do here while we wait for the Australian government to approve of me in all my glory, so why the fuck not go? And that’s what I’m doing. It would be nice to start work and actually be receiving a paycheque but the fact remains that my room in Vancouver is rented out already, so it’s couchsurf here or be a tourist in Oz.

Now I’m packing up my room to put things into storage till Holly and I return to Vancouver in January. Essentially all my books are packed. I have an entire bag of Tshirts that isn’t going to Sydney. I’m almost at the point where anything that isn’t packed can either get tossed in a random box or be thrown out and it won’t really matter one way or another.

I’m restricting myself to taking two carryon bags for the next 8 months. Mostly because I like that kind of challenge, but also because then it feels a lot less like I’m “moving to Australia for 8 months” and more like I’m “going to Australia.” Going to Australia is a lot less freakout-inducing. I mean, I’m really excited about this and everything, but still, crossing the planet isn’t something everyone does really lightly.

I like living in chunks of time (part of why I like being back in school with its semesterization), and I don’t think this is as worrying as beginning a job or something without an end in sight, not knowing how next year at this time would be different. I mean, next year at this time Holly’ll be here and I’ll be taking summer courses to finish the degree inshallah. The year after that: completely unknown (except that Holly and I will not be separated by oceans; I can’t wait to be done with that).

Anyway. Two days till I leave and I have a bunch of packing left to do (plus voting).

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fuck you 2009, i piss on your rotting corpse

The past few months have had really long days because of my frequent talking to people in places where it’s already tomorrow. I wake up and talk to Holly where she’s already had the day I just woke up to, then if we talk when I get home she’s home for lunch the next day. Keeps me falling forward in time. It’s 2010 in China.

I fucking hated the fuck out of 2009. This was the year my condo ate my life. The decision to buy was in 2008, but the badness was all this year. All the arguments and irresponsibility and hassle. The lack of sleep because of worry. The resignation to the fact that I made a really bad decision and have basically wiped out all the money left to me by all my dead relatives. Awesome. If you want to buy it, I’ll take offers way below the current asking price. Please. Let me out of here.

The best parts of 2009 predictably happened when I was far from the condo. I visited Caroline & Co (even though it was too early for Paisley to actually remember), went to Los Angeles, and of course enjoyed the hell out of my time in China (which it seems I never did write about extensively here).

I didn’t work anywhere and nothing of any interest happened at the places I didn’t work (oh right, I work in a cheese factory – forgot there for a minute) so “work life” falls neither in the good nor heart-shittingly bad parts of the year. The cheese factory did fund my escapes from the (utterly privileged) hell of thinking about the condo though.

My plans for 2010 are to feel way less responsible for this fucking condo bullshit. Also: Write something. Go to school. Watch some baseball. See friends get married.

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book review: guns, germs, and steel

Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs, and Steel: The Fates of Human Societies is one of these books I’d been sort of meaning to read for years, but it took getting it as an Xmas present to actually kick-start the process. Thanks Sean.

The book basically looks at why societies developed the way they did, why Europeans were the ones who went off colonizing and killing people all over the world instead of the Inca or Aborigines or whoever. Reading the book made me never ever want to play one of those Sid Meier games (like Civilization) ever again just because of the simplifications inherent in that kind of “progress” oriented game. If I were more industrious I’d beak the computer game through a GGS lens. It’d be a good way of going through the major points he’s trying to get across.

The basic idea is that environmental and ecological determinants are the root causes for most of the way human history has played out (in the broad scale). It’s a thought provoking read. I would have liked more China-centric information because it’s the history I’m most familiar with, but he doesn’t do a lot with China until the language section. And there’s some good stuff in the epilogue which I would like to discuss with Chinese people to see if it’s just a clever-looking idea from the outside or if it might carry some self-reflexive water too.

My biggest complaint was something endemic to this kind of material analysis; there’s no room for people being good. As in not going and killing a whole bunch of folk because widescale murder isn’t a good moral choice. The only reason people don’t go in and assimilate/enslave/murder societies in this book (exaggeration ahead) is because of malaria. If it weren’t for malaria killing off potential invaders we’d be all monocultured up. No one would ever decide to leave people alone just for the hell of it. In the 2003 epilogue he talks about applying this book to business culture and how efficiency is the ultimate goal and it made me nauseous. I get that this is part of the “ultimate” instead of “proximate” causes he’s trying to get down to and that this is the base of science and stuff, but the future of this way of thinking is the basis for all that dystopian SF in the world. Or maybe that’s just me.

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book review: singularity sky

Charles Stross’ Singularity Sky touches on a bunch of things I’m interested in that are probably more fantasy than science but fuck it I like em. There’s FTL communication, wildly diverging technologies and technologically powered anarchism. The pain in the ass about reading this particular book (about a technologically advanced pseudoculture meeting up with/declaring war on a culture more like something you’d see in Star Wars) is how close some of the ideas/plot-points were to 3dWorlder. So I need to work on my characters, making them more than playing pieces so the plot is less important that it’s got similar elements.

Yes this is less a review than a lamentation that my book needs a lot more work. That’s the sort of mood I am in.

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11 the future

We stepped out of the Ma La Tang joint and into the future. Not the gleaming utopia of Star Trek or the grand operatic backdrop of Star Wars (yes I realize that was trying to be the long long ago past; bear with me) but the grimy glowy rainy Blade Runner future. I always feel that on these rainy nights. It has to be the glow, the neon bouncing off the sky and the ground. The electric bicycles gliding by and cars all rounded and sealed. The brightness of the glow in the sky’s mostly mercury vapour but giant LCDs or something too. So many of the huge e-billboards are red but the blue ones (for Motorola or China Mobile or whatever) do their part to shift the spectrum. In Shanghai Holly mistook the blue glow for a clear night sky. On Nanjing Lu the signs were so bright until 10 o’clock when it all shut down. It’s hard to say what colour that shifting spectrum took But that ostentation felt like a Disneyfied parody. This is what development looks like, like Hong Kong, all bright and streaming. When the alleys feel more accurate.

We’d been at the Nanjing (or was it Jiangsu?) Museum of Art/History/Culture in the afternoon. Because it was Women’s Day? March 8? Meh. The museum resembled a museum. More than resembled. It was well done, low and sprawling not sprawling: Quadrantized. There were rooms for jade and for bronze and brocade and porcelain and ceramics and miniatures. We spoke of robots all through the miniatures room pausing only at the Gang of Four beating hell out of some intellectuals and the Mao’s Wife opera scene. And a person with her leg up over her head counterbalanced with a polearm (all of wood? I don’t know. I was trying to remember Asimov’s laws of robotics). In the bronze room was an array of scapular stone bells. There’s something unbearably beautiful to me about striking stones to make music. Wood and metal make sense but stone is so hard to shape. What kind of sound do those stone slabs make with their indelicate arches? A young man mimed playing the bronze bells below as we passed.

After the museum we took a bus back to this part of town (“this” being where I am currently on Holly’s porch on an alley off Shanghai Lu) and got very stuck in traffic. We were on a cheap bus (8mao) which didn’t have a television. I couldn’t tell on the way to the museum if the TV screens on that bus were actually receiving live signals or if it was some sort of tape loop a la Speed. It showed the correct time on screen. Though I suppose inserting a timestamp wouldn’t be too difficult a task. The main indication it wasn’t real TV was the preponderance of Tanovan (or something) ads. Real TV must advertise for more diverse products mustn’t it? The video screens on those buses (much more than the monitors on long distance buses or Air Canada flights for that matter) give me a real telescreen vibe. Transmitting both ways and such a la 1984. It’s an unfamiliarity thing I guess. Which breeds suspicion. Ubiquitous TV just seems wrong. A nigh constant distraction we don’t really need. Though we aspire to it. Getting old because we substitute voyeurism for play.

On this bus when we were jammed in traffic the driver was yelling out the window at no one in particular it seemed. We were motionless in one spot for maybe 20 minutes. Holly and I both stood and the bus wasn’t ridiculous crowded so she was messaging someone making plans to meet up with people that evening and the next day. Below me a guy was messaging with his phone (a Nokia N72, very nice) and his messages weren’t in Pinyin to turn into Hanzi. I couldn’t tell what he was actually doing but it seemed very predictive; his speed was better than I’d have expected.

Later I learned there’s a system for doing the strokes as numbers on the keypad, so it’s like you’re actually writing the characters. That intrigues me and makes me happy. I imagine modern calligraphers getting together in a kind of council to determine the best way to pixellate each stroke within the whatever by whatever grid a full character takes up. The argument’s based on the length of the third stroke in the Shui radical when part of the top half of the right hand side. Three or four pixels? And so different manufacturers have different fonts? Je ne sais pas.

In the evening a guy named James came by. Taking under consideration that Holly uses this world to describe many people, she likes him because he’s so intense. He was here to plan an English Corner with Holly. I can’t quite tell where he goes to school… no he doesn’t go to school. He’s a trader and doesn’t really like it. He knows Zhi Mian through the seminary people? All unclear.

In any case he was trying to direct these 13 English Corner sessions like a thesis discussion. (Oh, a description of James: Good strong boy with engineer glasses. He wore an Adidas Memphis Grizzlies sweater and rolled his head on his shoulders before speaking.) Moving from humanity to society and development and why do we want to develop to fight more wars over different resources? He was enamoured with Greece and Rome and historical progressions. “We all know we want tolove each other so why do we not? Why get rich? What is the point of cycling through all these repetitions? Aren’t we just stealing from someone in the end?” It all fit in well with the kinds of concerns Holly and I have been discussing.

And Holly told him about how she wants to learn Chinese and start a business with Zhao Xing. A guest house/organic farm out in Western Sichuan. And how that doesn’t fit into a career path and she told James his ideas sounded very good to her, but what about her farmer students in Sichuan who were very concerned with money because they don’t have any? Money is important. We can’t just do without it. And to make money there’s some form of development needed. It’s funny to hear Holly talk this way, all businessy but not really. Making money teaching to fund her own language learning is something she’s very interested in. As opposed to being an MCC service worker.

Theresa and she talked a lot about this stuff back in September and how there’s such a gap between service workers and the management level within MCC (the CRs and such). Theresa left MCC and worked with some other NGOs in Jilin and Beijing and now Winnipeg doing things she wanted to be doing and actually using her experiences to work up to something better and more useful, whereas if she’d stayed in MCC she’d still be an entry-level equivalent.

But anyway, that’s a different kind of future. MCC she might not see a future in. James asked Holly and me what we thought the future of the human species might be and Holly said she figured we’d eventually go extinct. I said we might exist to the end of the universe even if not in biologically recognizable forms (see Charles Stross or Rudy Rucker books for what I’m talking about) and he talked about robots who don’t need emotions that will eventually overtake us all (which I’d see as vey close to being an extension of humanity in another form but whatever). He talked about wanting to go to the seminary to learn more about god. And Holly encouraged him. “Your questions would be very good.” So maybe in three years he will.

In three years. That’s something I might be done with. I’m getting to the point where I can’t say “Three years from now I’ll do this.” I have to start doing things now. Write my book now. Move to Japan now. Goof around with Sean now. Everything around me is changing and it’s no longer enough to sit back and count down to some time I’ll be able to start again. I have to start building things now. That’s my future.

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24 a dollar short

St. Patrick’s Day felt much more like my birthday than the 16th did. Probably because I spent it mostly alone wandering around. I bought myself a DQ Blizzard in lieu of a cake and tromped about fairly happily. There’s a sports store that is always playing Eminem out on the sidewalk when I walk by. Not sports like equipment but an Adidas and Nike and LiNing (all carefully separated) clothing place. I also dove down into Fashion Lady mall, that neon underworld all the little underground shopping centres are aspiring to be. Then up into a SuNing to play with an EeePC a bit. One of the things holding me back from buying one is that these seem to be loaded with XP instead of the Eee Linux distro. But now I’ve held one and I think I could make such a thing work for me. Someday someday. Finished The Mambo Kings Play Songs of Love in the morning and started a Margaret Atwood book in the afternoon.

Also in the afternoon I sat in a park off Guangzhou Lu listening to all the birds being walked. Maybe I’ve mentioned it before but that’s possibly my favourite idiosyncratic thing about China. Taking your bird in its cage to the park so it can sing with the others. Mostly old men are accompanying them and then they gather around holding court. Though there are also lone guys smoking cigarettes while the bird has its own fun. The bicycles or scooters with draped cages on the back, draped so the bird doesn’t get disorented on the drive, make me smile in a way that someone walking a dog just doesn’t. Alison will be glad to know I miss having a cat around, even one as annoying as Steven B. Froese.

In the evening we ended up at the Taj Mahal Indian restaurant where we happily sopped up Mutter Paneer and Dum Aloo Kashmiri with Naan and later forks before slurping our Lassis. That felt like a birthday meal. Eating Indian food, we quickly got into the questions that concern a couple of young people like ourselves. What to do with a life? Going to school or starting a business, looking for challenge or getting credentials. Back in Shanghai Holly talked about this too, about how she’s not sure what the future may bring. She’s heading back to Harrisonburg for the beginning of October to help Myrrl out with the semester’s visiting scholars and she’ll stay at least until February. Her mom wants her to stay longer but also doesn’t want to talk about Zhao Xing so if it were me I might not take her that seriously. I mean, really, it’s not like Holly is some flighty stupid girl taking up with some random guy. This is Zhao Xing, a smart interesting guy. Who happens to be a Buddhist. Holly and my mom can find support in each other in the face of their respective mothers on these issues.

One of Holly’s options is going to school back in the States. She’s been talking about Fuller Theological Seminary in California somewhere. They’ve got an associated psychology school (or something) which might be useful. That would lead to a focus on China related issues and would be good for doing work with people and organizations like Zhi Mian. But the question is if she wants schooling. On one hand it would open up some higher up doors which might be useful in her being heard and listened to by people (in China) who care about such things. She’s worried it might cut her off from the people she really wants to work with though. That they’d see those letters after her name and wouldn’t be able to deal with her as an equal. She doesn’t want to be above any farmer she might meet in the course of her work. Part of this dream involves interviewing people and writing a book about it. Her book would be much better than what you’re reading here because she is more interested in people than I am. That’s probably my biggest weakness as a writer, but neither here nor there so I’ll drop it.

Another big option is to start up some sort of organic farm/guesthouse in western Sichuan with Zhao Xing. Maybe work with the Leonards and their China tourism business. This is something she doesn’t need school for and is part of her more direct goals of not separating work from life and all that. This is also a scarier option. Before starting the business, buying land and all that, she’d want to spend some real time studying Chinese, maybe teaching to pay for the studying. That’s a much more satisfying prospect than teaching because your organization isn’t with it enough to get you a visa for your work with Zhi Mian.

That last one is my favourite option for a number of reasons. 1) It maintains teaching English as a viable and not utterly stupid way of makign a living. 2) It puts Holly in China with Zhao Xing. I’m a bit of a sucker for a good couple I guess. 3) Western Sichuan. Guesthouse. That’s prime visitiability right there. Especially if I end up in Japan for a while.

The option I wish she wouldn’t take is just heading back to Harrisonburg and a nice simple life. I’m sort of doing the equivalent in Winnipeg and really, it sucks. It should be better, more noble or something, but there’s nothing quite like being lonely in a far off land. I have a spaceman on a shirt looking wistfully at the Earth for exactly that reason.

Whatever. These are Holly’s options these days and what we talked about at the Indian place with the waitress who couldn’t put on a decent fake smile. We drank our lassis while three Russians entered, ordered, talked on speakerphone, ate, drank and left. There was what may have been a first date going on behind Holly. It was between a gray haired (but adventurous seeming) woman and a long-haired guy I initially mistook for a woman. Until I heard him ask what kind of music she listened to.

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googlebrain

I know some people who are scared of the future. Really. Not just in a “We’re living in the end times and Jesus isn’t going to take me ’cause I’m not good enough” kind of way either. People to whom a story like Your Outboard Brain Knows All is deeply terrifying. I don’t think I’m one of them.

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new old jacket

Alison is so good. Tonight she reattached the cuff of the sweetass yellow leather jacket that used to be Reyn’s dad’s that Reyn’s arms were too long to fit. So now I have the jacket and can use its powers for good.

Also, more irons have been added to the fire. That’s all I can say about that right now. *Mysterious!*

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we could have stopped it at any time by not fucking paying for it

Click Opera has to be one fo my favourite things to read these days. This entry on a hub and spoke world isn’t actually one of the best I’ve read in the past few weeks, but it’s good enough for me.

“A few decades ago,” says the Turning Point Project, “it was still possible to leave home and go somewhere else: the architecture was different, the landscape was different, the language, lifestyle, dress, and values were different. That was a time when we could speak of cultural diversity. But with economic globalization, diversity is fast disappearing. The goal of the global economy is that all countries should be homogenized. When global hotel chains advertise to tourists that all their rooms in every city of the world are identical, they don’t mention that the cities are becoming identical too: cars, noise, smog, corporate high-rises, violence, fast food, McDonalds, Nikes, Levis, Barbie Dolls, American TV and film. What’s the point of leaving home?”

That’s from someone he’s quoting, isn’t new or revolutionary, and echoes one of my favourite Transmetropolitan bits.

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