Of all the ways my ice cream craving could hurt me, I hadn’t expected my elbow being the part to suffer. I eat a lot of ice cream. And yes, that’s really contradictory in this weather, especially when I complain so much about being cold. Also, the conglomeration of sugar and fat is everything that’s wrong with the North American diet. Plus it’s probably very insensitive to eat half a litre a day while keeping my girlish figure through no fault of my own while others are off being active and such. Fuck it. I like ice cream.
Today at Safeway the Lucerne 2L boxes of good flavours (like Chocolate Chip Cookie and Heavenly Hash and such) were two for four dollars. Now, I only buy those types when they’re two for six dollars instead of $4.39 each. So two for $4 made me wet myself in joy.
But the issue was that they’re only on sale till tomorrow maybe (I’m not sure on the timeline) and to make the most of it without having to go walking down to Safeway again in the cold that displeases me so I needed to get a whole shwack of ice cream today. Luckily, today was payday.
But I also had a lot of other groceries to get, so for the first time I can remember (when I wasn’t shopping or being shopped for with someone) I needed two baskets: one for the rest of the groceries, one for ice cream. I suppose I could have used a cart but whatever I’d already filled up my basket by the time the ice cream sale made its existence known to me. No problem in Safeway or paying for it or anything like that, but as I started walking home I realized why I never buy more than one basket of groceries at a time. More than that is fucking heavy. Especially when there are 8L of ice cream involved.
I distributed the load evenly and made the trek home, but by the time I’d gone a block I could feel my left elbow, feel like it was being dragged from its socket. Each step the ice cream sagged just a little more stretching the joint a little further each time.
Soon I got worried about the strength of the plastic holding my ice cream. The checkout guy was new and I hadn’t realized he didn’t double bag it while I was in the store. Walking down Ellice I was sure the corners of the boxes were going to tear through, creating huge gashes spilling everything all over the sidewalk. Of course that would unbalance me so I’d fall, spilling the rest of my stuff. Broken glass and salsa everywhere. I’d have to call Alison to see if she could come pick me up with all my food because all the bags were ruined and I wouldn’t be able to kick everything home by myself.
By that time I was walking up my back lane and feeling the cold through my mitts and the pain in my elbow and I just wanted to get home. I fought with the back gate and eventually made it into the house successfully.
My elbow is still in pain. If that keeps up long-term, I may deem it a mistake to buy so much ice cream at once.
Though I’ll always have an excuse not to play tennis left-handed.
