Tag Archives: mcc

job interview thursday

So my interview tomorrow is my first real job interview in years. I mean, I had interviews for my different positions in the library, but after the initial one to become a page, they didn’t really mean anything. I went in to meet people and the possibility of me getting the job rested solely on my seniority. So I was very relaxed for those. It’s probably good to have those practice runs under the ol’ belt.

My last interview that counted was for going to Egypt. I didn’t get that job, but I’d thought the interview went really well. Ha. I mean, I’m not complaining that I’m not just coming back from three more years of teaching English now. I’m glad I’m doing library school now (and will be gladder when it isn’t keeping me 9893km from Holly).

But since the last two interviews I did went well but I was passed over I’m not worried about this one tomorrow. I’ll wear my tie and talk about social media things. I won’t be self-deprecating but I won’t be an asshole. And then I’ll wait to find out if I’m employed. It’ll be good experience if I get it (and money for rent). If I don’t get it, it’s fine. I have lots of other things I can fill my time with.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

sucker and a suckup

I’m volunteering for my first library conference in May, the Manitoba Libraries Association thingy here in Winnipeg. We had our first meeting last night down at Millennium Library.

I’m doing this for a couple of reasons. One is because hey, I’m going to be doing a bunch of these once I get to library school so I might as well get my first one out of the way. I have no idea how the age breakdown of my class at UBC is, but if I’m going to be old, I want to at least have a bit of experience to go with my white hairs.

The other reason is less about my experience at school and more because I was going through my resume recently and the “volunteer experience” in there is pretty light. I don’t claim my MCC time as volunteering, since I got paid by my school for my teaching. And other than that, well, I suppose I’m a selfish jerk who’d rather paint miniatures than feed the sick or what have you.

Speaking of miniatures, I’m on a 1/300th scale World War II aircraft kick right now. They’re so small and cheap! I got a game, Wings of War: The Dawn of World War II, which Reyn and I played a few games of before he went to Africa, and it’s a bunch of fun. It uses cards for maneuvering and also for the planes, but you can also use figs. The official figures are like $15 each, though they come with maneuver decks which makes them useful in game terms. What I’ve done is bought a few flight bases of the appropriate size and a swarm of these cheap little planes. So far I’ve got some Battle of Britain planes painted up and some Italian and Vichy planes to fight the Free French and RAF in North Africa.

But yes, back to the conference, most of the volunteers, apart from the coordinators, were Red River students. I always forget there’s a library tech program there. I don’t really know what they learn in that program that you wouldn’t learn from working in the library. But it’s a qualificationary foot in the door I suppose, and I’d look pretty stupid calling anyone out for getting one of those.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

my socks are wet from puddles

Today’s moving of stuff went so well. Reyn and Steve were here helping and it all just happened. I’d been hoping to get the furniture I didn’t need off to the MCC furniture thrift store, and maybe move a shelf over to my new room. But Steve’s vehicle is a surprisingly good little hauler so we got stuff to MCC and all my boxes to Reyn’s in one trip apiece We didn’t lose any fingers, didn’t wreck any vehicles and had time for lunch before people had to go to work. Way to go, day. You were a good one.

Of course the annual thaw puddle/lake in front of the building has started up. I really wish that could have held off until the money for the condo was in my hand, but whatever. It’s not like it’s a bunch of water in the condo they bought, right?

In non-moving news the BBC thinks I think like a girl. I took this series of tests the other day and my results put me in the average female brain. Because of my empathy and my willingness to share I guess. Although that empathy score is pretty awesome because it’s a combination of perfect results on the “being able to tell how someone feels” scale and nigh-sociopathic (my hyperbole) results on the “how good of a shoulder you are to cry on” type stuff. Which seemed about right.

Now this was just some internet quiz thing, but it seemed a step or two above the quality found on Facebook surveys. I’d be interested to see what someone who knows something about psychology might have to say about if the test was anything actually interesting or not. Evidently Holly already goes around describing me as someone who thinks like a girl (thus making me easy to get along with), so I’d like to find out if science actually has her back on this or not.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

15a a bit on mennonites

Rod Suderman was here in Nanjing yesterday with Interim MCC Director Bert Lobe (whose son Kenton goes to my church). Rod’s one of the China country representatives for MCC. He and his family live in Beijing in a nice apartment doing MCC stuff. Organizing things I guess. These guys were here yesterday trying to determine what MCC should be doing in China and what it is doing. While we walked to lunch Rod explained how Bert was there to ask the tough questions about why things are done the way they are (as opposed to accepting the ways as historical artifacts). Rod said it was all very friendly. No hot tongs.

Holly was very impressed with Bert. She got the sense that he combined the “upside-down kingdom” principles with real knowledge ofhow the world works and the type of scrutiny things should be able to bear. As we walked to a train ticket agency later in the afternoon next to a street that was abnormally noisy (work on the subway below) we discussed the utter slackness of so much Mennonite stuff. Talking peace and justice in university is so easy if you remain vague, staying well away from any specifics. Working “in the church” means you don’t have to actually be professional. At CMU if you don’t like your C you can just ask to get it bumped up to a B.

There’s this sense of entitlement in the Mennonite world that since we’re “doing good work” it doesn’t have to be concerned with accountability and the like. The church will look after you no matter how stupid you are. Which explains a lot of those earnest dimwits in some of these organizations. But Bert didn’t strike Holly as being part of that. He asked Wang Xuefu how Zhi Mian was accountable to whoever and Holly wondered with great interest how her boss would answer that.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

17 on foreigners and their haunts

The Bar Behind the Wall has excellent music when they’re not playing Xmas carols. Two guys playing classical guitar on Tuesday nights. Holly and I showed up around 8pm on a gorgeous evening. After the cold requiring four layers to not die, I was strolling around with three layers, open. At night. With no sun to warm me. Heavenly. We’d eaten that night’s meal ay Skyways Bakery where you fill in checkboxes on a form to determine the kind of sandwich (and drink) you want. They have loaves of bread which are, all told, kind of expensive but it’s delicious and soft and doesn’t really matter. In and out comes a parade of Western faces and Chinese. Probably half and half. It’s right near Nanjing Normal University, so there are a lot of students. That’s one of the differences that shows how Nanjing is bigger than Wanzhou: there’s no way any of my old students could afford a 20RMB sandwich.

Part of me being here has been to give Holly an excuse to go to Western food places. “When you go by yourself it’s just sort of depressing” is what she said when I got here. On the patio the other night she got a bit more into why. “It just highlights the fact that I have no foreign friends.” Oh irony, wasn’t I just lamenting how I had no Chinese friends when I lived in this country? Yes. Yes I was.

While we were drinking sangria she saw some of the people she knew. Mickey came over and talked to us. He’s skinny with a curly mop of hair (sort of Chris Evans-ish but more washed out). He asked how she was doing and talked about all his jobs, including one for LG and the one that gives him an apartment. “Soon I’ll be able to do what all English teachers dream of doing: stop teaching English!” He told us we were welcome to join their large table, and promised he associated with relatively cool people. We wouldn’t be disappointed.

His girlfriend Marike wasn’t there yet, stuck in Chinese class. She used to have a really crappy gig, working full time as an intern and getting paid less than Holly who did 7.5 hours/week. Now not so much. We did not end up going to sit with them though since… well I’m not sure. I know why I didn’t leap at the chance but that has more to do with my nature as an antisocial recluse who has trouble meeting new people. Holly revealed her self-esteem issues on this and unsurprisingly, they related to her role as an MCCer. And I agree there is something off-putting about introducing yourself as a volunteer. Church-based. That’s not normal for this country where people have come to seek/make their fortune or possibly just drink a lot.

I don’t think I ever introduced myself as an MCCer when I was a teacher. “I teach up at the college” was my standard what-do-you-do answer. I guess some of the people in Wanzhou knew. Yeah I had conversations with English Rob about my salary and how it didn’t really matter what kind of hours I was working. And there was Margie who was very firmly precedent-setting and I could always set myself off against her. But that’s different than Holly working in her office which invites more “How’d you land that?” kind of questioning.

Part of wanting to get out of MCC is the quest for the magic bullet answer to these questions. The “What are you doing here?” The “Why China?” If you had a purpose a reason, life would be so much easier and filled with meaning wouldn’t it? Just always looking for a million dollars or a perfect jacket; is it only me who goes through life this way? A little Dan Bern for you there.

Yeah, this’ll get edited way the hell down.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

11 the future

We stepped out of the Ma La Tang joint and into the future. Not the gleaming utopia of Star Trek or the grand operatic backdrop of Star Wars (yes I realize that was trying to be the long long ago past; bear with me) but the grimy glowy rainy Blade Runner future. I always feel that on these rainy nights. It has to be the glow, the neon bouncing off the sky and the ground. The electric bicycles gliding by and cars all rounded and sealed. The brightness of the glow in the sky’s mostly mercury vapour but giant LCDs or something too. So many of the huge e-billboards are red but the blue ones (for Motorola or China Mobile or whatever) do their part to shift the spectrum. In Shanghai Holly mistook the blue glow for a clear night sky. On Nanjing Lu the signs were so bright until 10 o’clock when it all shut down. It’s hard to say what colour that shifting spectrum took But that ostentation felt like a Disneyfied parody. This is what development looks like, like Hong Kong, all bright and streaming. When the alleys feel more accurate.

We’d been at the Nanjing (or was it Jiangsu?) Museum of Art/History/Culture in the afternoon. Because it was Women’s Day? March 8? Meh. The museum resembled a museum. More than resembled. It was well done, low and sprawling not sprawling: Quadrantized. There were rooms for jade and for bronze and brocade and porcelain and ceramics and miniatures. We spoke of robots all through the miniatures room pausing only at the Gang of Four beating hell out of some intellectuals and the Mao’s Wife opera scene. And a person with her leg up over her head counterbalanced with a polearm (all of wood? I don’t know. I was trying to remember Asimov’s laws of robotics). In the bronze room was an array of scapular stone bells. There’s something unbearably beautiful to me about striking stones to make music. Wood and metal make sense but stone is so hard to shape. What kind of sound do those stone slabs make with their indelicate arches? A young man mimed playing the bronze bells below as we passed.

After the museum we took a bus back to this part of town (“this” being where I am currently on Holly’s porch on an alley off Shanghai Lu) and got very stuck in traffic. We were on a cheap bus (8mao) which didn’t have a television. I couldn’t tell on the way to the museum if the TV screens on that bus were actually receiving live signals or if it was some sort of tape loop a la Speed. It showed the correct time on screen. Though I suppose inserting a timestamp wouldn’t be too difficult a task. The main indication it wasn’t real TV was the preponderance of Tanovan (or something) ads. Real TV must advertise for more diverse products mustn’t it? The video screens on those buses (much more than the monitors on long distance buses or Air Canada flights for that matter) give me a real telescreen vibe. Transmitting both ways and such a la 1984. It’s an unfamiliarity thing I guess. Which breeds suspicion. Ubiquitous TV just seems wrong. A nigh constant distraction we don’t really need. Though we aspire to it. Getting old because we substitute voyeurism for play.

On this bus when we were jammed in traffic the driver was yelling out the window at no one in particular it seemed. We were motionless in one spot for maybe 20 minutes. Holly and I both stood and the bus wasn’t ridiculous crowded so she was messaging someone making plans to meet up with people that evening and the next day. Below me a guy was messaging with his phone (a Nokia N72, very nice) and his messages weren’t in Pinyin to turn into Hanzi. I couldn’t tell what he was actually doing but it seemed very predictive; his speed was better than I’d have expected.

Later I learned there’s a system for doing the strokes as numbers on the keypad, so it’s like you’re actually writing the characters. That intrigues me and makes me happy. I imagine modern calligraphers getting together in a kind of council to determine the best way to pixellate each stroke within the whatever by whatever grid a full character takes up. The argument’s based on the length of the third stroke in the Shui radical when part of the top half of the right hand side. Three or four pixels? And so different manufacturers have different fonts? Je ne sais pas.

In the evening a guy named James came by. Taking under consideration that Holly uses this world to describe many people, she likes him because he’s so intense. He was here to plan an English Corner with Holly. I can’t quite tell where he goes to school… no he doesn’t go to school. He’s a trader and doesn’t really like it. He knows Zhi Mian through the seminary people? All unclear.

In any case he was trying to direct these 13 English Corner sessions like a thesis discussion. (Oh, a description of James: Good strong boy with engineer glasses. He wore an Adidas Memphis Grizzlies sweater and rolled his head on his shoulders before speaking.) Moving from humanity to society and development and why do we want to develop to fight more wars over different resources? He was enamoured with Greece and Rome and historical progressions. “We all know we want tolove each other so why do we not? Why get rich? What is the point of cycling through all these repetitions? Aren’t we just stealing from someone in the end?” It all fit in well with the kinds of concerns Holly and I have been discussing.

And Holly told him about how she wants to learn Chinese and start a business with Zhao Xing. A guest house/organic farm out in Western Sichuan. And how that doesn’t fit into a career path and she told James his ideas sounded very good to her, but what about her farmer students in Sichuan who were very concerned with money because they don’t have any? Money is important. We can’t just do without it. And to make money there’s some form of development needed. It’s funny to hear Holly talk this way, all businessy but not really. Making money teaching to fund her own language learning is something she’s very interested in. As opposed to being an MCC service worker.

Theresa and she talked a lot about this stuff back in September and how there’s such a gap between service workers and the management level within MCC (the CRs and such). Theresa left MCC and worked with some other NGOs in Jilin and Beijing and now Winnipeg doing things she wanted to be doing and actually using her experiences to work up to something better and more useful, whereas if she’d stayed in MCC she’d still be an entry-level equivalent.

But anyway, that’s a different kind of future. MCC she might not see a future in. James asked Holly and me what we thought the future of the human species might be and Holly said she figured we’d eventually go extinct. I said we might exist to the end of the universe even if not in biologically recognizable forms (see Charles Stross or Rudy Rucker books for what I’m talking about) and he talked about robots who don’t need emotions that will eventually overtake us all (which I’d see as vey close to being an extension of humanity in another form but whatever). He talked about wanting to go to the seminary to learn more about god. And Holly encouraged him. “Your questions would be very good.” So maybe in three years he will.

In three years. That’s something I might be done with. I’m getting to the point where I can’t say “Three years from now I’ll do this.” I have to start doing things now. Write my book now. Move to Japan now. Goof around with Sean now. Everything around me is changing and it’s no longer enough to sit back and count down to some time I’ll be able to start again. I have to start building things now. That’s my future.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

gripe gripe gripe

It bothers me how much I’m looking forward to the baseball season. I’m following 4 teams and have actually kept up with the off-season moves they’ve been making and am getting to the place where I feel I’ve got something invested in them. If you care, the AL teams (one from each division) are the Jays, Tigers (Curtis Granderson is great) and Mariners (Ichiro and I might be able to go visit Scott and Em and see a game or two) and the Mets (Jose Reyes and now Johan Santana) in the NL. When it comes down to it the Jays are my team, and I’m following the rest of them so I have a better chance of being a fan of a playoff-bound team.

But back to the bothering me part of it, I’m looking forward to it because once I get back from China there’s not much else to look forward to. Following a team (or four) is a poor excuse for doing something with your life. I’ve got this balancing act between being satisfied with the library and writing and that’s it because I can’t afford to go anywhere else and wanting to up and leave tomorrow and fuck the rest of it (the lingering resentment at MCC plays a part in that too).

Bah. I’m grumpy ’cause all that vaunted writing I was going to get done today sputtered and stalled.

Tagged , , , , ,

making trappist wine

I finished the Thomas Merton book I’ve been reading at work. It was about the balance between life as a writer and life as a monk. And there was a lot of stuff to take from it. One of the most important was a sense of what the hell does writing matter? Not in a bad way but in a my worth as a person doesn’t reside in whether I appear to be underachieving or not kind of way. That’s a sort of important thing for me.

Sometimes when I’m in my funks about writing people say, “Don’t worry Justin; you’ll be famous some day!” or something like that. It is said to encourage and I appreciate that, but the fact is that I’m not going to be famous with many published tomes. I’ll be an anonymous little no one scribbling away in the dark with a marker. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’d like to make my living at writing but right now I make my living by stacking books, and there’s really nothing better about one than the other.

I have some ideas of things I’d like to do that would enable me to travel more (since MCC doesn’t want to facilitate that), and almost all of them rely on me doing something else that I don’t particularly love to meet my material needs. It’s all kind of monastic when I think of things that way.

All the while I’m plugging along at one of the stories I decided to write until it’s done. For once I’m not thinking about structure, or about how this story intertwines with this and how neat this will be or any of that. I don’t have a frickin’ clue how long it’ll be either (or how long it is now; this one’s being scrawled out in my notebook). Someday it’ll be done though. I think I’ll know when it happens.

The most infuriating thing from that Merton book was him in his letters to his censor and other superiors. Man I’d never be able to be a real monk with all that fucking hierarchy. Wouldn’t really be able to be a catholic either.

Tagged , , , ,

curse you, chats!

I’m not going to Egypt. That “chat” I had this morning was MCC HR scuttling those hopes. Strangely enough, it wasn’t for religious reasons (at least that they told me). Actually it kind of was. You know how humility is one of those “virtues”? It’s one I try to have a good handle on. Often in the form of self-deprecating comments. I’ve got buckets of confidence but that confidence is expressed in jokes at my own expense, not through being an arrogant prick. I’ve learned that much since high school.

So I tend to tell the truth about my abilities. One would think that in a religious organization like MCC truth would be seen as a good thing. But in my chat with HR I learned that they didn’t want realistic assessments of my abilities as a teacher, they wanted someone with “confidence in their abilities.” Well, shit, I could have lied about being the best goddamned teacher on the block. I can do that. But when I heard MCC Egypt was excited to get someone with two years of teaching experience, I said “Well, hold on, I’m not saying I’m a superb teacher. I still have a lot to learn.” And it stopped me from getting this position. That and how I told them teaching wasn’t my life-long dream, but it was something I had experience in.

As I wrote in an email this morning, a wise woman once told me to “Fuck the Mennonites.” I tried, but the MCC siren call got me back to where they didn’t want me again. It’s kind of ridiculous that I could teach with MCC when I had no experience, but now that I do have experience I’m not good enough for them.

The good thing is that I was prepared for this morning’s call by her use of “chat” on the message yesterday. And it means I can maybe go with Sean to the Redwoods, and to visit Scott and Em in kind reciprocation of their coming to visit me. And I won’t miss Reyn and Anne’s sham wedding, or Alison’s real one. And Alison said she’ll give me a break on rent for the month I’m gone to China, so that’s nice.

I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, but I know I can’t just keep on going with the same old thing here. I need something to look forward to because I’m not nearly Zen enough to live entirely within the moment.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

now for the hardest part

And I’m back. Not that I went anywhere. But Scott and Emily were here and it seemed impolite to run off and scribble on the Internet while they sat around waiting for their amusement maws to be filled. (I kid. They were wonderful undemanding houseguests.) We ate at all the best places to eat, drank some beers, watched some hockey (five fights in the game, most I’d ever seen) and walked all over the place.

Also, Christmas happened, so jiaozi were consumed and Sopranos were watched. I received great presents including a signed Terry Pratchett book, a sweet camera and flash, a Mariners hat, a Camby shirt, zombie comics and more.

Reyn got married unexpectedly which was kind of weird. Good though, since now if I go to Egypt I don’t have to feel bad about missing the ceremony as it will be a sham. Waiting to hear back from MCC is going to occupy the rest of my month. That and the writing (which felt so good today after a week and a half off; maybe I should be doing this after all). Oh, and the visa for China; I kind of need that.

Tonight I hope I dream about the wind howling outside my window. The wind that’s bringing the warm air.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 330 other followers