Tag Archives: nanjing

i guess it’s saturday today?

I think I left the house yesterday. Yes I did. I bought some groceries. And the day before, I’d been to school and off visiting libraries for homework purposes and then to Kerry’s for board- and party- gaming. We played Settlers and the endgame got bogged down as it sometimes does. I skipped out on Dominion because I was recuperating from Settlers, where I’d made the classic mistake of jumping to a lead too soon and not being able to close it out before getting ganged upon. Selah. I’d been pretty lucky in my early resources.

The rest of the weekend’s been homework. I’m almost done the actual Subject Headings part of the last assignment for one of my classes (leaving the essay about the experience still to go). I’m giving a selection of my comics collection subject headings to describe what they’re about. I’m not breaking down the series like DMZ or Transmetropolitan into specific volumes and giving them each their own headings. It still got kind of out of hand (I have a lot of fun making lead-in terms). So far I’ve done it all in a text document without any layout type stuff so I don’t have a clue how big it would be on paper and that’s probably for the best.

I woke up to snow, which made it a good day to stay inside and work. It’s fine when the snow is on the mountains and I can see it up there when the clouds are high enough, but I’m not a big fan of it being here in my part of town. I came to Vancouver for rain and being able to bike to school all winter without ice spikes on my tires. Three days before I bike again.

One of the things I’m looking forward to about China (beyond just being with Holly and eating baked goods and watching movies Holly needs to see and not having assignments that need doing and being a somewhat useful dishwasher for the woman I love) is getting some writing work done. I’ve been terrible about it this semester. I know that so much of it has to be just sitting down and making the time to do it. Holly’ll be working when I’m there, so I’ll be filling my time with working too. I did this when I went to visit Nanjing in 2008, all spending my mornings writing while Holly was working. I got a lot done. Hopefully I can repeat myself, at least effort-wise.

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book review: china mountain zhang

I think I learned about China Mountain Zhang (by Maureen F. McHugh) from Jo Walton’s Tor.com book reviews. I can’t remember what the review said, only that it sounded like something I would like. I finally got a copy last week, and man was that impression ever right.

The main story is about a gay construction worker named after Sun Yat-Sen (or in putonghua: Zhong Shan) in the future. This is a future where America had its proletariat revolution to try and follow China’s example after the early 21st Century Second Depression. Zhang’s story alternates with stories from other perspectives, including a goat farmer on Mars, a New York kite racer, and a girl with a rebuilt face. Zhang’s story takes him from Brooklyn to Baffin Island to Nanjing and back. There’s interconnection with the other perspectives but not so much it feels like a puzzlebox story. The whole book is the kind of thing science fiction should hope to be.

I had quibbles with the number of typos in the pinyin, but no qualms with the story. My favourite chapter was about the frustrations of Daoist Engineering. I’m sending a copy to Holly next week.

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33 memories

Myrrl and his friend David are here. It’s funny to see Myrrl with someone so clueless about China. You feel sort of bad for him talking about his views of Chinese culture. He’s got a PhD in Psychology and wanted to talk about diagnosis and stuff like you’d find in the DSMIV. But he also runs an Amish restaurant. So family-owned business is a good topic too. Holly really hopes he hits some sort of too-close-for-comfort issue about Zhi Mian.

Myrrl’s telling stories of back in the day when the Jin Ling Hotel was the only skyscraper in the city, and only foreigners were allowed in. People would gather outside and just stare up at it. There was a piano bar inside with air conditioning that CEEers would retreat to during the six week SLPs when it was 42 degrees dropping to 37 at night. It was a hellish summer and no good food anywhere. Ruthie had a miscarriage. They’d drape themselves in soaked towels to try sleeping.

And Myrrl talked about Sebastian and how much money he makes playing poker. Thousands. It’s hard to motivate him to go get a job. I wouldn’t want one either. Holly talked a bit about her dream for this organic farm/guesthouse and Myrrl was dismissive, as expected. He wants Zhao Xing to learn to cook and then start a Sichuan restaurant/teahouse/massage place in Harrisonburg. “Now there’s a man with a dream,” I said. I think when he dismisses things it’s sort of an implicit challenge to show him the goods. He’s heard too much talk to put a lot of faith in it till it’s done. That’s my impression at least. Holly gets so insecure with him, even though she doesn’t want to work for MPC anymore. She’d still like to work with them but to be her own person outside that “mission field” (which is a word they use so much he laughed).

The idea of existing outside all the guanxi is so attractive to her and to loads of young people she thinks. Myrrl was saying the simplicity of life is why so many Chinese people end up going to the States. They just don’t have to play all those games. Myrrl says he intentionally subverts a lot of that with the visiting scholars, so much so they’re surprised he knows how to toast and do all that Chinese stuff when they have their farewell banquet.

He has fun trying to figure out the relationships though. If you treat it like a game it’s interesting. Peter Yuan is supposedly a really smooth political operator, as Holly saw in Kunming’s PIC this year. That was surprising but not, as he is the president of the Sichuan CCC or something. And he has the support of MPC and that gives them their connections. And Fuller wants Xuefu to go back grovelling to the seminary before he can study in America. Oh politics!

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31 seminary

Holly went to the seminary to hear Mark ? speak and to bring him to the Zhi Mian office. He’s part of this visiting delegation from Fuller Theological School’s psychology program, and was excited to hear that Holly’s thinking about their program. As he said it, they want someone who has some language and would be in China. Holly would fit in well on both counts. We talked about what it means to be part of an organization working in China and how MPC is built on the guanxi of the teachers towing the line so the higher ups have the ability to do cool stuff. Of course, the teachers get no access to the privileges, just bear responsibility. Being here completely independently would give people like Holly more freedom to make relationships with whoever she wanted than fitting into the MPC “here’s who we deal with” structure.

Especially about Zhi Mian and the seminary. Last year around this time is when all the shit went down that got Dr. Wang all disliked over there, and things are only slowly returning to normal. But Holly has to keep a low profile as a Zhi Mian employee so as to keep the peace, which is frustrating. She lives three doors down from it and yesterday was the first time she’d gone on the grounds. “If we’re trying to make connections why do I have to be invisible?” is the question.

Yesterday her plan was to be an English teacher at the seminary and work at Zhi Mian part time. That way it would be even and open. Who knows if that would actually work. But the bouncing between school and business, work and study is a big issue for Holly these days.

We ate with Wang Jing and Zhang Guo Xian again at the porridge place last night. But we also had Guo Tie, the big fried jiaozi. So good. The porridge guy is round and sort of friendly. I got all confused with the ordering which made Holly realize I don’t understand nearly as much as she thinks I do.

At the seminary in the evening Al Dueck from Fuller was doing a pastoral counselling session with a bunch of pastors. The topic was grieving and how a pastor counsels people through the process. He sounded like such an NPR voice with the languid pace and innumerable pauses. “Lake Wobegone” Holly said. His translator seemed to be a seminary student who was quick but after an hour and a half his attention was flagging and he had more trouble. Especially on the “wife withholding sexual relations” and the technical genetic talk about Dueck’s daughter’s baby who she brought to term so it could live for three hours instead of aborting it. “This is a life,” she said. “It’s sacred.”

He also talked about a counselling survey done last year about what the biggest issues were. I was so happy that when he asked for stories the pastors gave him nothing. They could have been in Chinese even, what with the translator, but they behaved like my students always did. Not a peep. He was good at waiting for them though. They talked about loss and grief and made a loss line for Jesus. I realized that that was the Christ I liked, the one who God had forsaken, who no one understood.

There were a couple of pastors who as the session went on got involved in their cell phones, one beeping really loudly. And Holly got pulled out to take calls from Sun Wen and Xiao Meng about something Sun Wen hadn’t been listening to her about earlier. I’m so glad I don’t have to work for those people. Holly goes on about Xuefu’s genius but since I don’t see that part, they just seem like a couple of jerks. Not very fair of me I know but them’s the breaks. After the thing at the seminary we watched Little Miss Sunshine down at Zhi Mian with Xiao Meng and a couple of counsellors. I do like that movie.

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30b templar

I love Buddhist nuns. Maybe it’s not the nunnishness, maybe it’s just their shaved heads and simple gray clothes that put everything to notice in their faces. I suppose if you watched with care there’d be body language, expressive gestures and the like but for me everything rests in those faces. The Ji Ming Si was filled with nuns. Most of them young. One with big eyebrows who reminded me of my cousin Corina was taking donations and giving out small pins or other trinkets. She was very deliberate, sucking her lower lip back in concentration before smiling.

There were a couple of nuns in the expensive Buddhist trinket shop. Both were young and they were examining prayer bead bracelets and the like. Working in the shop were dozens of young Chinese girls who did not seem to be nuns what with their red uniforms and long hair. Right next to each other each in service to inscrutable ends. I doubt many friendships are made across those professional lines.

It was a tall temple, loads of vertical and attached to the city wall. Many halls were built in the ’80s and ’90s. There were loads of security guards in the temple’s upper levels where the crowds were burning their incense everyone received upon entry. I never spend a lot of time inside Buddhist temples. Unless it’s raining. There are only so many Buddhas and bodhisattvas and arhats and dancing black bearded man statues one can take in without real knowledge of the details to make them interesting.

For me, in China at least) temples are all about the pilgrims and the monks/nuns/functionaries. Loads of red armbanded people inthis temple, keeping an eye on things? And all the sweeping was done by middle aged women in sweaters of maroon. Parishioners maybe? Dedicated volunteers? I would think keeping the temple clean would be the work of the nuns/monks who lived there. Sweeping meditation and such. There were nuns helping people fill out their prayer notes in the sun. My pictures of them didn’t really turn out which is too bad so sad.

Before Ji Ming Si I took the subway out to the Kong Zi temple. There I didn’t go in because it was so expensive and gaudied up (for the Olympics it seemed, oddly) with pink and yellow streamers and dragons and such. The whole area was a huge shopping pavilion filled with the touristy junk shops you find in Beijing and Shanghai. You could tell this was a major stop for tourbuses. Why they’d need to go shopping at a Metersbowne here instead of one the outlets on every major street in every town in China beats me.

There’s a canal with bridges over it and you could rent boats to drink tea in by the hour. On the dragon screen wall facing the temple from across the canal the two yellow dragons were bright plastic. I’m sure at night they’d light up very festively but it all seemed a cartoonish parody of an old city, even down to the rickshaw men in their yellow silk suits. I took pictures of them at work or at least waiting for work. One saw me and came over to drag me around the district “very cheap.” He wore a fedora-ish hat and spoke no English. He drew out the looping route we’d take on his palm and grabbed my wrist, but I shook him off.

Soon after, I left that part of the square and found a place to read in the Examination School garden (where the schools were demolished to make way for shops). Out in front there were bronze statues of what I assume were famous students who passed their exams there. The early ones wore the boxy little hats, then robes and hair in long queues. The last one wore glasses and a western suit. One guy was getting his girlfriend to take a picture of him between two of them. I wonder if he hoped some of the studiousness would rub off on him. In the shops around, there was tiny octopus on a stick. I didn’t feel like eating any but it was somehow comforting that tourist trap food is the same across China.

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30a of the line

Happily, loads of people were confused by the lack of Shanghai Lu stop on the airport bus. We walked from Hanzhong Men even though we were both almost falling asleep standing. Got home and fell into beds. I had a lot of catching up to do in my writing so the Monday day was uneventful. That’s not true. I got the best baozi ever for lunch. The middle aged woman with the matronly hair smiled in recognition when I got my Cai Bao and my San Ding Bao. I’ve been there a bunch of times now. Feels good to be recognized.

I went to help Holly eat her snacks at the Paulaner Brauhaus where Sprite costs 35 RMB and coffee with two snacks cost 36. The pretzel was good. Very eggy and soft. The crumble cake had a bit of a petroleumish taste around the edges though maybe it was just a touch of freezerburn. Holly thought the top was cheeselike but I got none of that feeling.

And we were up on the roof and Holly was writing and so was I. Holly feels good when she’s writing. “I don’t want to be a writer, but I feel complete or something when I’m doing it.” That’s not at all how I feel about it. I like the finished product I made (sometimes) not the getting there. I need to do these quota kinds of things to keep going. Holly keeps on describing me as a very good writer which simply isn’t true. Not yet at least. This book was supposed to be more of a finished product than it’s become. Now it’s just notes on a trip. Which is fine. I realize that the book this turns into will be ditching the Tome stuff [which hasn't been posted here -JJU] which can find its way into the Place novel. It doesn’t feel right in here. I’ll take all these notes and reorder them. Maybe back into the Wittgenstein order. Leave the blog entries raw and shape the stuff from the notebooks. I think my memory’s up to that now. I might be ready.

We played ping pong with Xiao Meng and her brother last night. They seem like a good happy brother and sister combo. Later at Behind the Wall we drank sangria and he complained about his lack of girlfriend and we learned Xiao Meng’s Shanghai boy is back in Nanjing. And her brother asked why I don’t date Xiao Meng. Holly laughed adding a “She’s so beautiful!” My easy answer was that I don’t date friends’ friends. That worked at the time though it is a lie. That would basically cut my dating pool down to zero. Which it might as well be but I don’t feel like getting drunk and crying about it.

At the airport I told Holly how I never called Joy back when she left that message on my phone a year and whatever ago. I just couldn’t stand the sound of her voice. It is weird how you can decide things in a fraction of a second. It builds, of course, but everything flips in one little moment. Holly told me how she doesn’t believe our loves are destined and she got mad at Jesse [an ex-boyfriend] when he wanted to leave it up to God if they’d stay together or not.

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22 politics

At the Nanjing Massacre memorial… Well, I think I should head back there and read everything in the exhibition hall, so maybe I’ll refrain from too much commenting on that just yet [I never did get back -JJU]. But outside the hall we wandered the grounds where stones are placed for specific massacre sites and the ground is scattered with stones to represent the 300,000 dead. Cheryl says that was a number specifically and politically chosen. Because they can’t tell exactly how many people died. There’s the Grave of 10,000 Corpses but it doesn’t have that many bodies identified (all through that hall they’ve got scattered femurs and humeri broken beside the walkways). The 300,000 was chosen to be a larger number than the atomic blasts killed in Hiroshima (and Nagasaki?). To ensure that Chinese suffering could be quantitatively higher than that of their enemies. So people wouldn’t have to say “Sure fewer died but it was more horrible.” More died and it was more horrible. No wiggle room for the devils. I should be fair. I only saw the Japanese called devils outside the museum by the statues with their quotes and poems.

Cheryl talked a lot about Japan and her time at the Hiroshima memorial. She’s heard people speak on the topic of this whole ugly history. Japanese pastors saying “Our salvation lies in your (Chinese) forgiveness.” Japanese civilians saying “Yes it’s true we didn’t know what was happening but we can’t get away from our guilt that way. It’s our responsibility to know what our government is doing in our name.” (I know that one chilled me with responsibility. We live in a democracy. My government represents me far moreso than the CCP represents an ordinary Chinese person. And what are they doing in my name? Well, at least I’m not an American.) Chinese Christians saying that one of the great obstacles to faith was the idea that god even loved the Japanese. How could that be?

Later in the evening we were at Wang Xuefu’s house and were talking politics. He speaks of the Nanjing Massacre and the Cultural Revolution as psychologically traumatizing events for the nation. As a country “Chinese are very good at forgetting” he said (something I think needs a bit more explanation or at least some speculation) but that means the wounds get buried deeper. The government isn’t interested in healing. All they care for is other things: Economics. Power. And if they can harness the wounds and use them for their own purposes then that’s exactly perfect. Healing would only hurt that agenda.

We got into the story of a prof at Nan Da who is a member of a minority political party. He submitted an open letter to the CCP asking for open elections. On Xuefu’s couch we all sat back with mouths agape, laughing at the audacity. What happened? He was forced to resign from his party and is no longer allowed to teach classes.

In the last couple of weeks there’ve been protests in Lhasa. Monks and civilians in Jokhang Square marching angrily. And this has been shown on CCTV which probably means a forceful clampdown is forthcoming. But not too forceful since the eyes of the world are starting to focus on the country. There was a 19-year-old woman from Xinjiang who supposedly smuggled gasoline onto a plane to try and hijack it in an attack on Beijing. In the media reports the focus is on outside separatist forces using these Chinese people to make revolting statements. “And they’re such monsters they’d even use an innocent teenaged girl to try hurting China.” All these outsiders giving the government excuses for support from the people.

One of Xuefu’s friends is a professor and former journalist and he says that his greatest regret is being part of the propaganda machine for so many years. He’s the one who taught Xuefu about proxies and tunnelling through the Great Firewall. We talked about how there are no rules in China anymore, how classrooms are set up as dictatorships just to satisfy the teacher’s desire to feel important.

Korean respect for age and authority was held up as a kind of model for integrating Confucian values with Western freedoms. Cheryl talked about her Korean friend who won’t talk politics with his family because then his father would demand to be listened to, and “I don’t want to vote for who my father wants people to vote for.” By not discussing it the son isn’t forced to disobey when it comes to the ballot box.

We talked about how in China the people in power have no ideology any more, no ideals beyond staying in power and keeping the good life all that money affords. Supposedly people had thought maybe Hu Jintao would be someone who’d start the process toward democracy but once he got in it was all the same old thing. If a transition to a democratic society were to happen many people say it would be chaos. On these couches in the nicest Chinese living room I’ve ever been in, that chaos was limited if the transition was led from above. Sure a revolution would be chaotic but so much of that is because it would be a fight between the people and the government. If the government were to gradually institute more local-level elections and work its way up, there wouldn’t have to be blood. But how could that happen? It won’t as long as people have the feeling that things could be worse.

The top and middle these days have more and more to protect and the bottom can only steam and maybe have an occasional anti-Japanese riot/three minutes of hate. People are gradually getting better off (“Materially,” I interject. “In every way,” Holly corrects me, “There’s more free speech and better health care available and yeah.” I sit back chastened like the dumb westerner I happen to be.) and a lot of them see that as enough.

All this talking was happening out at Wang Xuefu’s house in the suburbs. Now my idea of suburbs is shaped by the small city I grew up in. Basically anything that’s not downtown is a suburb to me. Places with trees and lawns and such. This suburb is an hour and a half outside the city (by bus. Car or taxi mabe half an hour to 45 minutes) off shitty dirt roads and freeways. It’s more like living in Connecticut when you work in New York, or at least it seemed like that to me. One of the roads we got into a traffic jam on is the state road to Hangzhou. They’re building the subway out there so it’ll be more connected in a year or two.

Inside their subdivision though I thought I’d gone to hell. There are some little hills and a manmade lake his house backs (fronts?) onto. And it’s surrounded by these birthday cake tiered townhousey things just piled on each other. The definition of prefabbed nicety. White Ridge on the Pack ‘em In scale. The other side of their house faces a row of identical buildings across a cement tiled lawnspace. Xuefu stressed very insistently that he wasn’t a rich man, though his house was beautifully upper middle class. Three storeys, heated floors on the main and top levels. Dark stained wood staircase and dining room table. High ceilings with recessed lighting, space for a huge entertainment unit but holding a 24″ old TV. A beautiful office with skylight attached to the master bedroom. Everything very clean and relatively elegant. Lacking in art for the space but whatever. A whiteboard hung in the dining room which was a bit tacky or something but in general it made you forget you were in a townhouse. He bought out there a few years ago when there was nothing, so it was cheap. He’d “had a feeling it would soon be developed” from what he’d seen in the US. So he got in at the base and it’s already quadrupled in value. Good for them and all that.

He also has a silver Buick parked in the driveway. And really, to live out there now you need to have a car. He learned to drive in the States I think, but this winter in a snowstorm (not the big one, a couple of weeks before it) they’d been driving home from some town where they were doing some training and it was icy and shitty and he spun out in a 360. They decided to take safety as a priority over the law and Holly took the wheel. She had greater experience and got them home safely in the end.

Earlier this year the car got keyed when they were out somewhere and Holly was impressed that he didn’t flip out (he really loves this car). He did complain about the ignorance of whoever did it though. “Why does he have to take out his aggression on his fellow man?” Maybe the term he used was “common man.” In any case, Holly thought “You aren’t the guy’s fellow man; you have a car.” And a nice house in suburban hell.

The day after all this discussion Zhang Guo Xian was asking Holly about different countries. “What is your view on…Mexico?” kind of stuff. She said she likes all countries. “Even Japan?” asked Xiao Meng. “Yup.” And then with obvious practice Xiao Meng launched into “Well if you really loved China…” and Holly stormed away. I don’t blame her one bit. I absolutely detest that kind of narrow party-line view of Xiao Meng’s. Holly says she’s a very good and loving friend but she just can’t talk to her about what China is like. I know that since I don’t see (or at least understand) her being a loving good friend I really don’t like Xiao Meng. All I get is the cartoon villain snickering and this narrow narrow view of the world and the TV watching and stuff. If my Chinese were better… but it’s not. So I’m stuck here seeing and hearing what I can and what is explained to me. This is really a very useless document when I think clearly about it. All that humble bullshit up front is really true. Don’t think there’s any insight here.

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19 a night out

When did I stop being the leader of daring expeditions? Was I ever?

Last night we were deciding on what to do with our evening after a seemingly endless discussion of what James (Zheng Lei, the frustrated demagogue) and Holly are doing with their English Corner… sorry, English Island. He wants it small like a lecture series about his topics whereas Holly and Wang Yen(?) are more loose about who could be involved. Standing outside the crappy Sichuan restaurant they argued (sans Wang Yen), looking for compromise and issuing ultimata with Xiao Meng helping bitch about Sun Wen through it all.

“My condition,” he said, “is that you agree with me, or else I leave.” I laughed at the authoritarian impulse and how he’s all over exercising it. And Holly’s doing her help people get along and work it out thing while she’s being told to be a “strong leader,” not necessarily her style.

But when this was done with (James grumbling that he guesses if she’s an employee she has to follow her boss) Holly led us down to the building she used to teach in, for a trip up to the roof. That building’s down in Xin Jie Kou, the bright lights big city downtown of Nanjing and she’d been up on the roof once during the day. We took an elevator to the 32nd floor where we met a grey-uniformed security guard who turned us away very politely. We took the elevator down a floor and then found the stairs. On the 31st floor there was no guard, only cameras. We climbed quietly, especially past floor 32 where we’d left a vaguely alerted guard and the door to the stairwell was open. When we got to the top though, we were barred from the roof by a single gate. Padlocked. Down on the 31st floor where we caught the elevator a guard was now sitting behind glass. He didn’t say anything to us.

Then down we went to the Fashion Lady Mall, a cramped neon underground. We entered via Manicure Alley and didn’t proceed too far before Holly got sick of it. It was especially noisy cramped and packed. You felt you had to duck because of the neon ceilings with their shooting stars and constellations.

Then up and out and find a restaurant Holly half-remembered and up another high rise office building headed for the roof. We joined a suited young man headed for floor 23 but went to 27. Xiao Meng stayed back directly below the security camera while Holly and I didn’t care about being caught on video. This elevator was dingier than the last with its mirror walls and tile sunburst floor. And when we arrived on 27 (one below the top, just in case) the floor was dark, a single red power light blinking from the emergency lighting box. The stairs were lit though, and up we went until meeting up with another gate locked with a bicycle chain. This one didn’t even get us close to the roof. At the first one we could see the night outside, hear the wind, just not head out ourselves. This stairwell didn’t seem to require creeping, what with the dark abandoned floors we’d been on so far. That proved to be true on the 28th where it was just as dead as 27. We used our cell phones to light the way to the elevator button and descended. Picked up some people around 23 or maybe 18 and carried them along with us and out the main door and its gaggle of security guards who’d probably noticed us go in (hard not to see a couple of foreigners wandering through an office lobby at 8pm) and confidently ignored them as we stalked out. Holly accepted the fact that most buildings lock up their roofs so we set out for other entertainment.

The German Brauhaus lies beneath the World Trade Center. It’s vast, sprawling around the central escalators with a stage in one quadrant. I don’t know the band’s name but they were Filipino singing in English Chinese and Spanish. Five members, 3 girls one with short hair and a pouty lower lip who seemed to be having fun sometimes (let’s call her Gloria) and two long-haired women who really weren’t. Having fun. They did their lacklustre dance moves because it was their job. Behind them was a dumpier woman not wearing the short red skirt with white tank top combination. Holly thinks she was Gloria’s mom “They have the same mouth” but I’m not sure I saw it. She was DJing and popping in the occasional keyboard bit and some backup vocals.

The star of the show, however, was the guy. Tight red pants. Wife-beater accentuating his nipples. Dyed blonde styled-scruffy hair. Tattoos around his right arm. Red sleeve on his left. And he was a performer. He exuded performance, letting himself snap precisely through his motions while the girls were satisfied to remember what they were doing. He exulted in this, even though they had to use the lyric sheets down to the side for a lot of songs. When he headed out into the crowd for one guy’s birthday he “professed his love” through song, dragged him up and really seemed to want to share the moment, the joy of all this music. In the end the guy whose birthday it was told him he couldn’t love the gay singer – “I love her instead!” motioning to his girlfriend who was capturing it all in cellphone video glory. (Aside: yesterday browsing through Chinese DVDs I saw a flick called See You in YouTube. I wonder why Hollywood is so slow on that.)

There was also a Chinese guy with Phil Spector hair who, though not as talented a dancer, was whooping it up with as much heart as the singer through the Ricky Martin set. I wondered if the personality (because he didn’t seem incapacitatedly drunk) came first and he’d styled his hair in a big frizzy afro or if he’d been born with that hair and had to develop a personality to match it.

The other people I was intrigued with were a young group sitting by the stage on maybe a double date. A tall girl in a Japanese schoolgirl haircut and sweater sat next to a much shorter girl in a truckerish hat and green work shirt kind of thing. Hat smoked a cigarette seeming bored while Schoolgirl was enthralled and a prompt applauder. Across from them were the guys. One wore glasses and a sweater. Cool glasses from where I sat. He focused on the band, paying careful attention. Next to him his friend in a white shirt was singing along to every song, really getting into it. Everyonce in a while Hat would say something to Schoolgirl. They’d clink glasses and drink a bit of their dark beer. A couple of times I saw Hat singing along, her eyes dark holes devoid of excitement. I don’t know why but I fell just a tiny bit in love with her.

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18 arts and crafts

I remember first arriving in China and wanting to get into Chinese stuff. The traditional arts and things. Calligraphy. Tai Ji. I tried both of those at various Summer Language Programs in Beijing. Calligraphy is still something I think I could get okay at. With practice. I do enjoy making characters with a pen, so it’s just that much better with a brush isn’t it? Down at Zhi Mian they’ve got a calligraphed thing on the wall which was done by someone with his finger. I can’t remember if the guy had special connection with the institute or if it was what he’d written, which was blotchy as hell and difficult to make out. And at the mountain there was a bookstore with a dozen signed books in a glass case. Chinese signed books are a bit cooler than plain old English. You seem to see more character even in the simple sharpie lines. Just smooth like these writers spent their time writing. Who knew?

In terms of Tai Ji though, I was hopeless. I love the motions and the slowness and the stillness. But. I can’t follow along with a teacher in the patterns. In that courtyard I’d have to be craning my neck to see what was happening and then I’d lose my spot and quickly catch up, which sort of defeats the purpose. Holly’s learning an 86(?) step path and is somewhere around movement #4. Another woman in her class has been studying for two years and will almost know the whole thing. She encourages Holly to take it slowly, that way she’ll learn the moves correctly. There’s also the slight issue that Holly doesn’t know the names of all the moves just yet so when the instructor calls out “Pure Dragon Commences Up the Yellow Mountain … in Autumn” she has to watch to see which moves that corresponds with. A book would be helpful for this area of things. Just to get the names internalized. And being able to spout off like a Kung Fu master wouldn’t hurt too badly.

Chinese paintings with their big world, little person aesthetic are very pleasing. I suppose I should have prefaced that with Traditional. There’s lots of art out there that looks nothing like serene cliffs in the mist. Paintings that play with communist themes. Big people. All those baby Maos in that one gallery, huge and stark. Where did I read about that Da Shan Zi district being a place to rip off tourists with inauthentic contemporary art? Somewhere virtual I’m sure. I really liked some parts of that district. Especially that gallery 731? No that’s the Japanese biowarfare number. 716 maybe. [It's 798.] In any case, those miners and the lily-footed women pictures were enough to give me a positive feeling about it all. I wonder if there’s an artist district here in Nanjing or if everyone’s too busy being a southern money-maker to have any time for art. I should go wandering around Nan Da. There must be art students there.

The problem I have with the notion of buying art here is that the mass produced scroll paintings you get up at Beijing’s Pearl Market seem so similar to the ones hanging in galleries. But are they the equivalent to velvet Elvii? Probably. It’s one thing for my mom to have a cheap scroll inher house but I feel like I’m supposed to have good taste in these things. The problem is that I have never hung out with artisty types in China. I don’t know what to look for in good art. Yes yes it doesn’t matter. I should just get something I like the look of. I know. And I do. One of Holly’s old erhu teachers is learning how to do traditional ink painting. It’s all about how the ink flows over the page. You can’t quite harness it but can guide where it might end up if you know your tools well.

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10 walls

Nanjing has city walls. Has had them for a very long time. Of course the city has grown far byond them in the last few thousand years. Think of that a moment. There’ve been people here since prehistoric times. Okay fine, Winnipeg’s had people hanging around that far back too. But there’s been an honest to god city here for a millenium. Maybe I’m wrong on the dates there, but seriously. It’s old.

Yesterday I went walking on the walls of Nanjing starting at Qing Liang Men. It was sunny and warm and quite pleasant. In that stretch of wall the inside is a hill while there’s a small river outside. I don’t know how much restoration’s been done to the wall but there are railings and lights I imagine weren’t original features. I walked along it (after mistakenly climbing atop the gate part which is separated from the rest by iron and barbed wire). The wall itself is sundered next to the gate for a road to go through and over a bridge. The wall is thick. Not as thick as Xian’s on which cars could easily pass each other, but thicker than most walls I’ve seen. You could pack a lot of insulation in there if it weren’t made of bricks. I followed the wall to where it unceremoniously ended, then considered scrambling down the steep hill to the junkyard below. I didn’t have any huge desire to become one with the trash though, so I turned around instead.

One of the main differences between this wall and Xian’s is the arrangement. Xian was out on a plain with (as far as I can remember) no major landscaping issues. So it went ahead with a simple square layout. It was Changan, the freaking centre of the world so why not be completely right-angled about things? Nanjing’s walls follow nature more. Built on the inside of Xuan Wu lake (Xuan Wu is one of the four mythical beasts that people aren’t sure exactly what it is. We’ve got those too: quick what does a manticore look like?) and the inside of this little river but encompassing this hill excluding that mountain. Much more haphazard. It reminds me more of the Great Wall than of Xian’s wall, really. Except for the gates. Those we never saw in the Chang Cheng.

The other day with Zhang Guo Xian we went to a different gate. Outside there was a man with a bicycle leaned against the wall and a grey coat hanging from some unseen hook. He was in his 40s-50s, wearing a green cabled sweater and walked in a weaving pattern separating the air before him. No, does that convey it properly? It’s like he was walking through beaded curtain after beaded curtain, lifting each one up so he could pass through unmolested. He walked like this for several minutes clearing out imaginary space for his work. And his work was some intricate Qi Gong. Not Taiji stuff which is slow and dancelike, but something you could see being used in a fight, were it sped up a bit. Very low, like he’d be punching people in the ankles a lot. I lost track of him while Zhang Guo Xian was talking. And then he was gone.

With Xian’s wall you can look across the whole city and get that sense that if you can’t see the wall opposite you it’s your own poor eyesight’s fault. When Aileen and I walked that wall (a quarter of it anyway) I felt like it was an Imperial kind of place. Demanding respect. This wall in Nanjing doesn’t do that as it winds here and there. There’s nowhere you feel like you could see across the city even if you tried. Too many hills and trees and such between. And besides where would you look? There’s nowhere it feels the wall has to be.

It always seemed weird how the Great Wall was built on the tops of all the hills it passed through. I suppose it’s so the besiegers couldn’t get the high ground and see what was going on behind it, but geez, what an engineering headache. And backache for all those poor dead workers. And then it couldn’t stop a yang rou chuar guy from getting through and letting the rest of the horde in after.

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