Tag Archives: poetry

alone together & wrestling bookcases

I like to think of myself as the kind of person who is a good enough friend to not make his friends do too terrible of things. Low-maintenance. Because of that I end up in situations like yesterday where I moved the stuff out of my apartment to my storage locker on my own. All my fine Vancouver friends had work and things so I figured I wouldn’t insist on putting them through navigating my futon down twisty flights of stairs in exchange for pizza or whatever.

Alone together opening #sfups

Tonight though I went to the opening of SFU’s Alone Together: Connecting in the City and it made me sad about being a person who doesn’t naturally reach out and do stuff with people. The Vancouver foundation did a survey and found that 25-34 year olds feel the least engaged and the most lonely in the city, which surprised them (they assumed it would be the elderly). One speaker talked about how it’s the meaningless little bits of chitchat (and futon moving?) we do that creates community. Another talked about political activism in municipal politics and how the highest role in our democracy is supposed to be the citizen but we think of politics as something done by other people. He also thought we don’t value the importance of the individual enough which makes me wonder if he’s ever thought about things from a different culture’s perspective.

It was all very interesting and clearly trying to be inspirational. There was a terribly cheesy music video and the opening band was clearly chosen because of their upbeat nature, but Shane Koyczan did two poems and he was great.

On Thursday I’ll be taking a Uhaul truck full of books, shelves and an awkward futon to Campbell River, but I’ll have to come back next week to get a last bit of work on the video project sorted out. And to feed my roommate’s fish till her new roommate gets here.

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it’s hard to be invisible sometimes

At Canzine West yesterday, I was quietly sitting in the audience for a reading. The first reader was Anna Swanson, a poet, reading some poems in that cadence that spoken word poets have. It seems easy to parody, but it fit with the things she was reading. She talked about being a fire watcher and how in that job you earn your money by remaining sane while being alone in a fire tower for long periods of time. I really liked her poem “When Women Were Clouds.”

Amber Dawn decided not to just read from her novel, Sub-Rosa, because it sounded too much like she was in space, so instead she brought the microphone out to the audience to ask people why they deserved to call themselves an artist, and what they hoped to get out of being there that day. Sadly for me, I was the first person she came to. I don’t do well with that kind of thing at the best of times. Being put on the spot to say something about something I struggle with anyway (go on, ask me the last time I wrote any fiction; I’ll collapse into a puddle of self-loathing) wasn’t very much fun. I told her I didn’t deserve to call myself an artist and asked her why she was doing this to me. It was probably funny for the others sitting there but also painful and sad. Now, of course, I have an answer but it’s too late. When she was done she thanked everyone for playing along, conveniently overlooking my terrible performance in her game.

Other than that, I had a good time. And then watched a Phillies-Giants game (that wasn’t the pitchers’ duel we’d hoped for but was still damned fine baseball), before heading down to Marlis’ photo exhibition from the 12×12 photo marathon. Holly’s pointed out that it seems like I have quite the social life here, even when I’m ostensibly getting schoolwork done.

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that was a long goddamned day

I’ve been reading 2666 but because it’s divided into five parts, I’ve been breaking it up with other (lighter) books in between. (I owe you teeming handfuls a review of American Gods; it’s coming.) Right now I’m reading The City and the City and I just love it. It’s about a crime that happens in a city where there’s another city right there sharing the same streets but they’re in different countries and in each city you aren’t allowed to see (or interact with) the things that are happening in the other. Things aren’t invisible; you are not allowed to see them. If you look at someone/thing in the other city too closely you’ve broken the rules and the all-powerful group that deals with Breaches comes and takes you away. Possibly to kill you, but I’m not done the book yet (I’ll review it for reals when I am).

This organization, Breach, is so powerful they could act with utter impunity, but if it’s not an emergency they have to follow the rules and be asked to handle things. I like this common idea of powerful entities having rules to follow. Vampires can’t cross running water. Police need a warrant. Breach must be asked. But. I don’t care about the little guy breaking the rules. In fact, I expect it, and get sort of sad when the powerless person doesn’t try doing something other than follow the rules. I’m having a weird time with how few people agitate against Breach in The City and the City. There are some, but I keep on wanting to shout at everyone, “You can see things! You shouldn’t have to unsee them!” But it’s a book and the characters (thus far) are well enmeshed in their setting.

A lot of fiction I read deals with the individual and celebrates the individual, especially in the face of power. For example, there’s an article I linked to a long time back about Murakami always wanting to be on the side of the egg not the wall, and you know how I feel about Murakami stories. Yesterday I watched a National Film Board movie from the 60′s called “Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Leonard Cohen.” He was all young and bright-eyed. In one bit Pierre Berton is trying to get young Leonard Cohen to say what he stands for, what great idea drives him, what issue burns in his soul. And Leonard Cohen says, “No idea; I just check if I’m in a state of grace.” His companion explains that Leonard Cohen is talking about the task of the individual to live one’s own life, but Leonard Cohen is sort of dismissive. I like that.

Of course, it’s easy to “identify” with the powerless when you’re a white guy with a beard and a Mac.

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quality assured by no one

Very little happened at the cheese factory today. By that of course I mean that 1500kg of cheese was produced. Most of it cheddar avec lots of dye. Mmm dye. Come to think of it, I am fairly unaware of how much cheese our factory produces in a day. I can’t quite tell if that number is high or low. Why that wasn’t part of my training? There’s a Quality Assurance person I’m sure would know. Richard Marsisperran or something. Some name too long for the patch on his coveralls. I’ll ask tomorrow.

The thing I did learn today is that Winnipeg has a Zine library. And it’s not at Mondragon. I learned this from a stranger who thought I might be interested since I was wearing my anarchist Librarian hoodie. (I am such a poseur.) I suppose Sarah knows about this already. I will have to go. Possibly on Friday before I go see about my new tattoos. I’m planning to finally finish off my arm poems.

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and now to watch some deadwood

Merry Xmas. Read this: Pearls Before Breakfast (It has nothing to do with Xmas.)

It’s been a busy week. Sean’s birthday, a Westgate reunion (which felt like “Sean’s birthday, some Carcassonne, drinking at the Camby, Xmas Eve jiaozi and a big ol’ Xmas Day feast (with a 78-year-old poet).

I may write more about a few of those things tomorrow. For now though, if you have time, read that Washington Post article I linked to above.

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trying too hard to seem friendly

Is there a term more loaded with menace than “chat” when spoken by someone with more power than you? I mean, I don’t mind chatting (or making chit chat) occasionally, but when someone like a boss or human resources person in charge of possibly hiring you leaves a message on your phone saying “I was hoping we could chat for a bit” there’s nothing good coming out of the situation.

So tomorrow morning I’ll have a chat (on the phone, no less). And hope it’s not about scuttling my Cairo hopes because of something I wrote here on the blog.

That is something I sort of worry about occasionally. If all this writing ranting complaining and pointing out cool stuff will stop me from doing more of what I want to do. Which is writing ranting complaining and pointing out cool stuff far away from my audience (read: you).

At work on my breaks I’m reading a book by Thomas Merton about the vocation of writing. There’s a lot of stuff to think about within. One of the things he says is that the only thing a person should want to be is a saint. If that’s not your goal then you’re sort of wasting your time. He softens that a bit with the idea that being a saint is more like being a Zen master and fully experiencing each thing you do.

I think I’m off to read (translated) Taoist poems now. To relax before my chat in the morning.

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adrian!

I’ve never felt any real need to see Philadelphia. Tom Hanks and the Boss didn’t fill me with a burning desire to visit the city of brotherly love. American history? Snore. But Rocky, now there’s a reason to see a city. Anywhere that has Sylvester Stallone’s bronzed Converse Allstar footprints on the steps of a huge art museum is a place that needs a look. So yesterday a vanful of fellow orientees escaped the tedium of our (beautifully designed but still hopelessly Mennonite) compound to explore.

Now I’m a Canadian. From Winnipeg. Winnipeg is to some extent an ethnically diverse city, like Canada. I hadn’t realized how that diversity doesn’t cross over into the traditional American racial divide. What I’m trying to say without making an ass of myself is “Wow are there ever a lot more black people in Philly than in Winnipeg!” And we pretty much had to drive into Chinatown to find any visibly Asian people. Just different. I know where you’re going with this but I’m not going to show up in Beijing on Saturday (!!!) and say “Wow are there ever a lot more Chinese people here than home!” I’m just saying that my experience of diversity at home is different than a major American urban centre. Ha! Spelled that with an R E. There’s diversity for you.

I went to an amazing poetry performance at the University of Pennsylvania. I love listening to good (ie. not written by some fat white girl about her cats [I'm sorry. That was a bit harsh. I love you too, fat girls]) spoken-word. The flow, the ups the downs that almost get you seasick but then . . . the bottom falls out and words just rush on by. It’s so good. She did one called “Jazz is Sexy” and opened with a poem whose name I forget but it repeated the line “My name is Billie but life ain’t never been no holiday” (apologies to the poet since I’ve probably fucked that up good and proper) which was amazing. I bought two books of poetry from another woman there. One of them is all about hip-hop, which is nicely self referential but also addresses some of the things that I think about when I try to draw lines between what’s shitty and what’s awesome. I also bought the new Beastie Boys CD because in the US they don’t have copy protection that prevents me from ripping it onto my iPod.

I don’t feel like I’m leaving this week. Not even a little bit. Thursday may be messy.

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Sweep.

Do you want to know what to do with your life?

Sweep.

Do you want to know how to begin a new venture?

Sweep.

Do you want to clear away misconceptions?

Sweep.

Do you want to know how to be thorough?

Sweep.

Do you want to create order?

Sweep.

Do you want an antidote to your excesses?

Sweep.

Do you lack for something to do?

Sweep.

Do you worry for the future?

Sweep.

Do you strive to be grounded?

Sweep.

Do you find it difficult to meditate?

Sweep.

Do you find it hard to finish what you start?

Sweep.

Do you need a skill in life?

Sweep.

Do you worry too much?

Sweep.

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Sweep.

Do you want to know what to do with your life?

Sweep.

Do you want to know how to begin a new venture?

Sweep.

Do you want to clear away misconceptions?

Sweep.

Do you want to know how to be thorough?

Sweep.

Do you want to create order?

Sweep.

Do you want an antidote to your excesses?

Sweep.

Do you lack for something to do?

Sweep.

Do you worry for the future?

Sweep.

Do you strive to be grounded?

Sweep.

Do you find it difficult to meditate?

Sweep.

Do you find it hard to finish what you start?

Sweep.

Do you need a skill in life?

Sweep.

Do you worry too much?

Sweep.

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