Tag Archives: teaching

job interview thursday

So my interview tomorrow is my first real job interview in years. I mean, I had interviews for my different positions in the library, but after the initial one to become a page, they didn’t really mean anything. I went in to meet people and the possibility of me getting the job rested solely on my seniority. So I was very relaxed for those. It’s probably good to have those practice runs under the ol’ belt.

My last interview that counted was for going to Egypt. I didn’t get that job, but I’d thought the interview went really well. Ha. I mean, I’m not complaining that I’m not just coming back from three more years of teaching English now. I’m glad I’m doing library school now (and will be gladder when it isn’t keeping me 9893km from Holly).

But since the last two interviews I did went well but I was passed over I’m not worried about this one tomorrow. I’ll wear my tie and talk about social media things. I won’t be self-deprecating but I won’t be an asshole. And then I’ll wait to find out if I’m employed. It’ll be good experience if I get it (and money for rent). If I don’t get it, it’s fine. I have lots of other things I can fill my time with.

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out in the country

On Wednesday Holly and I got up far too early to go out to a school in the nearby town of Lijia for an extremely well-documented bout of “helping the poor children” (ugh). This wasn’t our idea.

There’s a group of outdoorsy type people who started this organization “Twinkling Stars” to raise some money and do some work for kids after the Sichuan earthquake of 2008. They went to the village they were helping and did some good work I guess. Wednesday was their second trip, and first that wasn’t disaster provoked. They’re customers at the bakery and asked Holly to join them.

The idea was that they went to this poor school, brought a bunch of clothes and stuff to give them and then shared their skills. There were maybe fifteen to twenty volunteers. A lot of them were photographers and some of them were taking good pictures of the kids in a class and then would give prints to their parents. There was some sort of gongfu training I think? Holly was brought along to teach English classes to grade four students.

Of course, this being China, any work could only be done after a multi-hour ceremony outside in the cold with speeches and songs and seven year old girls dancing wearing nothing but gauze. It was maybe 6 degrees out. I wept for them.

Twinkling Stars and the school both knew how to stage these things. We got off the bus that brought us a hundred metres away and walked up to the school with the bags of clothes, all the volunteers wearing orange or yellow jackets. Maybe twenty metres from the school gate the road was lined with kids waving tinsel covered hula-hoops and drumming and chanting “Warm Welcome!” A couple of handfuls of cops kept an eye on things.

As the Twinkling Stars headed up to their seats of honour I peeled off of the group. Because Holly is great, she explained away my disappearance nicely. So through the speeches and performances I didn’t have to sit in the cold, but wandered around the fringes with the parents and other villagers. I was accosted by a few people asking me questions I couldn’t answer (my 中文 classes helped very little for this trip) and got mobbed for a photo once.

When Holly got into the classroom she did a lesson on Christmas vocabulary and played games with the kids. I helped with classes two and three after lunch, as I’m a much better classroom assistant than lead teacher. She’s much better at dealing with a classroom than I am.

For lunch we ate from the cafeteria and then had a session of talking about what we’d experienced that morning. It felt like everyone came up and shared sort of prepackaged moments of the touching things they’d learned (of course, I wasn’t actually paying attention and don’t know the language so I’m probably way off). My favourite part of that was when the girl who (I’m told) is a really cool journalist expressed that she’d had some difficulties with her class. People then appeared (to me, not knowing the language) to be berating her and giving her “encouragement” on how to not suck so much. (Again, just my impression.) She looked like she was going to cry. I just appreciated the idea that someone telling the truth about her experience got jumped on like meat in a tiger pit for not having a warm fuzzy moment.

In the gaps between lunch and classes and between classes and waiting for our bus to leave, there were piles of kids wanting autographs from all these volunteers (not just Holly and me). It was ridiculous and stupid. For a while we signed some things, Holly and I sending messages to each other on the pages we signed for each kid, but it was endless. And I hated the dynamic of that so much. This faux-rock star thing. Just like the banners and the honourific speeches (which you might remember I dealt with on a trip to the country back in the day). The supplication and demanding something that wouldn’t actually be at all useful for them. “There’s no reason for this!” I wanted to grab kids and yell.

Holly and I agreed to stop signing stuff but still had mobs. Holly could laugh it off when one boy tried to get an autograph out of her by saying “We’re so poor though!” but I didn’t even have the language to tell them what the problem was. I hated the not signing things too. Just all over I detest that power dynamic.

On the ride back to Nanchong Holly and I read chapters of Matilda to each other. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it was my favourite part of the day.

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manlibcon day 3

The third day of the Manitoba Libraries Conference opened with breakfast (croissants and fruit), which was nice. This was the day I was convening sessions, so I had to stop by the registration desk a few times to pick up the checklists and gifts for the speakers. All very easy stuff.

The first session I convened was presented by Kathleen Williams from the Winnipeg Public Library along with a bunch of EAL teachers. The session was called Reaching Out to Newcomers, and was pretty good. When I worked in Section 22 I did a lot with our ESL collections and helping people find things so Kathleen’s talk was right in my wheelhouse. They were discussing the photo stories they’d created to help people at different English levels learn to use the library. It was informative all around and people asked good questions and went just a touch over time. My introducing even made a couple of people laugh (librarians in general seem to be fine with lame jokes, so something even moderately funny goes over well in my experience).

Then was a session by Michelle Larose-Kuzenko from the Manitoba Ministry of Education. Her talk was on Literacy with ICT. (I learned in my preconference research that ICT is Information and Communication Technology.) The speaker and I got along well when I was getting stuff set up. Her talk was focused on integrating technology and dealing with it appropriately into other lesson plans and things. I was completely out of my element in there, but the attendees asked questions so I didn’t have to. The only thing I could have asked would have been inane. The questions that did get asked had a bit of a hostile edge to them, as Ms. Larose-Kuzenko was a government official who imposes things on these library techs. I didn’t have to break up any fights though. I think that would have been part of my convenor duties.

After lunch I went to a presentation called Not Your Daddy’s Jackdaws, which was presented by a University of Manitoba Archivist. He was talking about Jackdaws and how todays things that are kind of like Jackdaws are different from Jackdaws. What is a Jackdaw? It’s a folder full of reproductions of historical documents about some historical person, place, thing, or time. They were produced by this British company in the 1960s and they made over 400 of them. The thing that made this session kind of weird was that he wanted to talk about how the new things that are sort of similar aren’t really like Jackdaws, but everyone in the room just wanted to talk about Jackdaws themselves (and how proud one school library was to have a bunch). He was approaching this as presenting his paper but people kept interrupting. It was kind of funny. I was glad I wasn’t convening this one.

Finally, I convened a session by Marg and Tom Stimson called How to Talk About Web2.0 Without Making Your Mother Bored. It didn’t quite deliver on that subtitle (my mom would still be bored, though the Stimsons were entertaining) but was interesting. Marg talked about all the cool stuff you could do in the classroom with Google Maps and different free bits of software. Tom Stimson livetweeted his class trip to Oak Hammock Marsh including pictures and the kids’ parents were commenting and stuff. It was all pretty neat. He also uses Spore in the classroom, which is awesome. (I recently got Spore and it is a wonderful game where you create a life form and have it evolve from a little multicellular thing into star-spanning empires. Highly recommended.) They had to talk about the creature they made as a class “growing up” instead of evolving because they had a Jehovah’s Witness kid in the class.

The Stimsons were great “Hey wow isn’t this neat!” kind of evangelists for Web 2.0 technologies, of the kind you’d see doing TED talks. Tom showed us screenshots of the kids’ pictures on their houses on Google Maps after navigating there from school in Google Earth, and I had to ask a question about how they deal with the kids’ privacy issues. They a) get waivers b) don’t use full names and c) use a “this’ll be up on the internet for four hours so parents should go see it now” kind of approach. Which made me feel a bit better.

And then the conference was over. It was a fine first experience. Now when I go to my first one as a student I’ll have something to compare it to.

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making something out of something

On Friday I buckled down and worked. Not on any of my work that needs doing (I get scared of my book from time to time because I suck) but on Grandma’s birthday video. It’s funny how lost I can actually get in making something. How fast time can go. This doesn’t happen to me all the time. Even when I’m dicking about on the internet I feel aware of each and every second I’m frittering away.

In the end Final Cut and I got Grandma’s movie sorted out and put on a VHS tape for her. Oh VHS, you are such an ugly horrible medium.

I don’t know exactly why my regular Saturday shift begins at 9:15 with a break at 9:45. I suppose there’s a reason for it somewhere but it’s odd. Note I didn’t say “I’m sure” because I do work for the city. Right now we’re only allowed to have three people on-desk at a time, meaning one person at least is banished into the lightless cells at any given time. This is so we don’t appear to be inefficient in our department and have our hours cut back in these “tough economic times.” Supposedly if there is to be a cutting back of hours everyone’s positions are re-posted and it is a horrible seniority-based free for all to grab something resembling your job. I hope that doesn’t happen.

Although if it did happen it might provide me a kick start. Mom and I were talking the other day about my September trip to China along with Holly’s bakery she’s opening (isn’t that awesome? A bakery!) , and Mom said something like “I keep on expecting you to run off to China again.” And I told her that if I could go without teaching I would. But until I completely lose my memory of how much I disliked teaching I probably won’t go. It’s a choice I’m going to be working with for forever probably: choosing between a job I hate with a life I enjoy vs this grey okayness of work and life. Hm. when I put it that way it seems like hardly a choice at all.

But in the greyness there are the occasional nice evenings like last night with Aileen and Alison that make me forget about the rest of the time. And next week I’m going to Calgary. That promises to be a good time.

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the best of my generation abandon their dreams

The other day I had a short interview with a company about going off to teach in Japan. Just a preliminary thing before they finalize my application. And it actually freaked me out. Not on the phone, on the phone I was all laughs and amiability. But afterwards all the lying I had just done made me want to vomit. The woman asked if I’d be comfortable teaching kids and I said yes. Little kids. As young as three. I remember Mel and Margaret having to teach little Chinese kids and Caroline talking about the Korean kids and the hellishness of it. And I remember thanking all that was good in the world I didn’t have to do that. And she asked about my energy levels in the class, how I’d feel being all bouncing around silly and shit. “Oh that sounds fun!” Would I be okay with being clean shaven and wearing a suit? “You bet!” Because swearing off ties 5.5 years ago doesn’t mean anything.

Why do I have to lie? Because I know if I tell the truth no one will pay me to go anywhere. And I’ll be stuck here in this place I don’t like. But it’s not like I actively hate anything I do here. Maybe I shouldn’t sell myself off like this. Maybe I should remember how much I didn’t like teaching. Maybe I should go to Japan on my own terms, in a way I don’t have to lie and hate myself for doing all that. Do this the hard way. Like the writing.

I worry though that if I do that I’m falling into the “once in a lifetime” trap. That then going off somewhere on the other side of the world becomes something strange and exciting instead of just part of my life. But if part of my life involves that much deception and self loathing, ech. I don’t want to feel trapped here, that Winnipeg is all I’ll ever know. I need to be different places. Being in China this last time made me feel content, and I’ve been wanting to push on to work in Japan because of that contentment. But I was in China as a travelling layabout. A person without work or schedule. That’s not what teaching would be, no matter how many weeks of vacation I got.

I don’t know. I’m not withdrawing my application but I don’t know if I can go lie my face off as a fake-smiling teacher just to be somewhere else. I already feel like I’m hiding all the time. We’ll see what happens.

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17 on foreigners and their haunts

The Bar Behind the Wall has excellent music when they’re not playing Xmas carols. Two guys playing classical guitar on Tuesday nights. Holly and I showed up around 8pm on a gorgeous evening. After the cold requiring four layers to not die, I was strolling around with three layers, open. At night. With no sun to warm me. Heavenly. We’d eaten that night’s meal ay Skyways Bakery where you fill in checkboxes on a form to determine the kind of sandwich (and drink) you want. They have loaves of bread which are, all told, kind of expensive but it’s delicious and soft and doesn’t really matter. In and out comes a parade of Western faces and Chinese. Probably half and half. It’s right near Nanjing Normal University, so there are a lot of students. That’s one of the differences that shows how Nanjing is bigger than Wanzhou: there’s no way any of my old students could afford a 20RMB sandwich.

Part of me being here has been to give Holly an excuse to go to Western food places. “When you go by yourself it’s just sort of depressing” is what she said when I got here. On the patio the other night she got a bit more into why. “It just highlights the fact that I have no foreign friends.” Oh irony, wasn’t I just lamenting how I had no Chinese friends when I lived in this country? Yes. Yes I was.

While we were drinking sangria she saw some of the people she knew. Mickey came over and talked to us. He’s skinny with a curly mop of hair (sort of Chris Evans-ish but more washed out). He asked how she was doing and talked about all his jobs, including one for LG and the one that gives him an apartment. “Soon I’ll be able to do what all English teachers dream of doing: stop teaching English!” He told us we were welcome to join their large table, and promised he associated with relatively cool people. We wouldn’t be disappointed.

His girlfriend Marike wasn’t there yet, stuck in Chinese class. She used to have a really crappy gig, working full time as an intern and getting paid less than Holly who did 7.5 hours/week. Now not so much. We did not end up going to sit with them though since… well I’m not sure. I know why I didn’t leap at the chance but that has more to do with my nature as an antisocial recluse who has trouble meeting new people. Holly revealed her self-esteem issues on this and unsurprisingly, they related to her role as an MCCer. And I agree there is something off-putting about introducing yourself as a volunteer. Church-based. That’s not normal for this country where people have come to seek/make their fortune or possibly just drink a lot.

I don’t think I ever introduced myself as an MCCer when I was a teacher. “I teach up at the college” was my standard what-do-you-do answer. I guess some of the people in Wanzhou knew. Yeah I had conversations with English Rob about my salary and how it didn’t really matter what kind of hours I was working. And there was Margie who was very firmly precedent-setting and I could always set myself off against her. But that’s different than Holly working in her office which invites more “How’d you land that?” kind of questioning.

Part of wanting to get out of MCC is the quest for the magic bullet answer to these questions. The “What are you doing here?” The “Why China?” If you had a purpose a reason, life would be so much easier and filled with meaning wouldn’t it? Just always looking for a million dollars or a perfect jacket; is it only me who goes through life this way? A little Dan Bern for you there.

Yeah, this’ll get edited way the hell down.

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curse you, chats!

I’m not going to Egypt. That “chat” I had this morning was MCC HR scuttling those hopes. Strangely enough, it wasn’t for religious reasons (at least that they told me). Actually it kind of was. You know how humility is one of those “virtues”? It’s one I try to have a good handle on. Often in the form of self-deprecating comments. I’ve got buckets of confidence but that confidence is expressed in jokes at my own expense, not through being an arrogant prick. I’ve learned that much since high school.

So I tend to tell the truth about my abilities. One would think that in a religious organization like MCC truth would be seen as a good thing. But in my chat with HR I learned that they didn’t want realistic assessments of my abilities as a teacher, they wanted someone with “confidence in their abilities.” Well, shit, I could have lied about being the best goddamned teacher on the block. I can do that. But when I heard MCC Egypt was excited to get someone with two years of teaching experience, I said “Well, hold on, I’m not saying I’m a superb teacher. I still have a lot to learn.” And it stopped me from getting this position. That and how I told them teaching wasn’t my life-long dream, but it was something I had experience in.

As I wrote in an email this morning, a wise woman once told me to “Fuck the Mennonites.” I tried, but the MCC siren call got me back to where they didn’t want me again. It’s kind of ridiculous that I could teach with MCC when I had no experience, but now that I do have experience I’m not good enough for them.

The good thing is that I was prepared for this morning’s call by her use of “chat” on the message yesterday. And it means I can maybe go with Sean to the Redwoods, and to visit Scott and Em in kind reciprocation of their coming to visit me. And I won’t miss Reyn and Anne’s sham wedding, or Alison’s real one. And Alison said she’ll give me a break on rent for the month I’m gone to China, so that’s nice.

I still have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, but I know I can’t just keep on going with the same old thing here. I need something to look forward to because I’m not nearly Zen enough to live entirely within the moment.

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the outermost layer

I had my interview with MCC today about going to Cairo. It went twice as long as we’d sort of scheduled but that was fine. There were lots of questions about stuff. We sidetracked off into new media for a while which was fun. And about my blog specifically, not that the HR people read it and had objections but about what I’d be doing with it. They’ve had issues in MCC Egypt with writing by the workers provoking situations, so now anything going out “representing MCC” has to go through the Country Reps. If they take me, it looks like a certain organizational name will be redacted from these pages, so I can continue to cuss and link to questionable content.

I was stumped on the question “What do you think might be your biggest disappointment with the Cairo assignment?” How does a person answer that? She saw I was floundering and moved to “Well, what’s your biggest disappointment from China?” and I talked a little bit about the trained monkeys phenomenon, but also about how that wasn’t as big a deal for me as it was for people who were actually teachers.

Anyway, I did my best. They got to meet me, see what I’m like and stuff. If I go, I won’t be allowed to have a beard. Or a shaved head. Because of the greater levels of meaning those things carry in Cairene society. Apparently no one there likes ambiguity in any form. You’re supposed to look like what you’re supposed to look like. And bearded guys are clerics.

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now i just have to worry about time travellers

Dude, I’m the guy working on the Full Moon Problem! It’s nice to know that by 2010 I’ll have it all worked out and our military can take care of that Kerry Edwards.

Oh, I’m also absolutely furious at the school. Thursday and Friday are the days scheduled for our Sports Meet. This means we have no classes, which is awesome because it means I get to go to Nanchong for Easter a day early. Hooray for everything.

Now today it’s been raining (today is Wednesday if you’re confused by time zones). Whatever. The Sports Meet isn’t today. I had class this afternoon and was walking back with a jaunty step thinking “Man, I love being done for the week on Wednesday and being able to go hang out with friends before my neighbours I don’t like get there.”

And taped to my door is a note saying Adi called and that the Sports Meet has been moved to Sunday and Monday so we have classes Thursday and Friday. This is at 4 in the afternoon.

I swore a lot. Really loudly. Without giving a flying fuck who was listening, be it Andrew who was standing next to me or the Chinese guard ladies downstairs. I threw my teaching stuff (and my umbrella since it had stopped raining) in my apartment and marched down to the English department to find out what kind of bullshit this was.

Luckily for Adi the door was locked and she wasn’t around. I came back and Scott and Emily and I watched a newish Simpsons episode. Emily is leaving tonight for Chengdu and had to cancel her newly scheduled classes. I’m really glad she set the precedent.

I’m going to go in and not actually teach tomorrow’s classes. I don’t have anything planned for them. I might do a quick seminar on how to express how fucking pissed off you are at idiot goddamned bureaucracy. And then I’ll let them go. I’ll cancel my Friday classes since I’m going to Nanchong, fuckers. Some people actually think more than 16 hours ahead.

And of course it won’t matter since tomorrow will be a beautiful sunny day and I’ll show up at my 8am class only to find no one’s there because “today’s the Sports Meet, moron.”

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my letting that which does not matter truly slide

I just dodged a bullet. A bullet of pure boredom, awkwardness and boiling spicy organs (probably). Adi called to ask if I was free this afternoon and, it being my birthday and all, I said maybe. I would have been free for being crowned King of Town and getting many and sundry presents. I was not free to judge a high school speech contest (which was what she was asking me to do). Thankfully, she didn’t care.

Last week the aggravating Leon phoned a couple of times for me to go out to dinner with her. Each time I lied and lied about how I was doing things with students (playing video games with Scott doesn’t have quite the same responsibility vibe). I think she minded a bit. She spreads rumours among her students that I am unable to talk to girls. When in actuality it’s just that I really don’t like her at all. Supposedly she’s a good Chinese tutor though.

Oral English this week has been surprisingly easy. I’ve just given them time to talk amongst themselves, interrupting every once in a while to add more questions. It’s hardly been painful at all. Hooray for minimal work on my part!

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