Tagged with the hangman

22 politics

At the Nanjing Massacre memorial… Well, I think I should head back there and read everything in the exhibition hall, so maybe I’ll refrain from too much commenting on that just yet [I never did get back -JJU]. But outside the hall we wandered the grounds where stones are placed for specific massacre sites and the ground is scattered with stones to represent the 300,000 dead. Cheryl says that was a number specifically and politically chosen. Because they can’t tell exactly how many people died. There’s the Grave of 10,000 Corpses but it doesn’t have that many bodies identified (all through that hall they’ve got scattered femurs and humeri broken beside the walkways). The 300,000 was chosen to be a larger number than the atomic blasts killed in Hiroshima (and Nagasaki?). To ensure that Chinese suffering could be quantitatively higher than that of their enemies. So people wouldn’t have to say “Sure fewer died but it was more horrible.” More died and it was more horrible. No wiggle room for the devils. I should be fair. I only saw the Japanese called devils outside the museum by the statues with their quotes and poems.

Cheryl talked a lot about Japan and her time at the Hiroshima memorial. She’s heard people speak on the topic of this whole ugly history. Japanese pastors saying “Our salvation lies in your (Chinese) forgiveness.” Japanese civilians saying “Yes it’s true we didn’t know what was happening but we can’t get away from our guilt that way. It’s our responsibility to know what our government is doing in our name.” (I know that one chilled me with responsibility. We live in a democracy. My government represents me far moreso than the CCP represents an ordinary Chinese person. And what are they doing in my name? Well, at least I’m not an American.) Chinese Christians saying that one of the great obstacles to faith was the idea that god even loved the Japanese. How could that be?

Later in the evening we were at Wang Xuefu’s house and were talking politics. He speaks of the Nanjing Massacre and the Cultural Revolution as psychologically traumatizing events for the nation. As a country “Chinese are very good at forgetting” he said (something I think needs a bit more explanation or at least some speculation) but that means the wounds get buried deeper. The government isn’t interested in healing. All they care for is other things: Economics. Power. And if they can harness the wounds and use them for their own purposes then that’s exactly perfect. Healing would only hurt that agenda.

We got into the story of a prof at Nan Da who is a member of a minority political party. He submitted an open letter to the CCP asking for open elections. On Xuefu’s couch we all sat back with mouths agape, laughing at the audacity. What happened? He was forced to resign from his party and is no longer allowed to teach classes.

In the last couple of weeks there’ve been protests in Lhasa. Monks and civilians in Jokhang Square marching angrily. And this has been shown on CCTV which probably means a forceful clampdown is forthcoming. But not too forceful since the eyes of the world are starting to focus on the country. There was a 19-year-old woman from Xinjiang who supposedly smuggled gasoline onto a plane to try and hijack it in an attack on Beijing. In the media reports the focus is on outside separatist forces using these Chinese people to make revolting statements. “And they’re such monsters they’d even use an innocent teenaged girl to try hurting China.” All these outsiders giving the government excuses for support from the people.

One of Xuefu’s friends is a professor and former journalist and he says that his greatest regret is being part of the propaganda machine for so many years. He’s the one who taught Xuefu about proxies and tunnelling through the Great Firewall. We talked about how there are no rules in China anymore, how classrooms are set up as dictatorships just to satisfy the teacher’s desire to feel important.

Korean respect for age and authority was held up as a kind of model for integrating Confucian values with Western freedoms. Cheryl talked about her Korean friend who won’t talk politics with his family because then his father would demand to be listened to, and “I don’t want to vote for who my father wants people to vote for.” By not discussing it the son isn’t forced to disobey when it comes to the ballot box.

We talked about how in China the people in power have no ideology any more, no ideals beyond staying in power and keeping the good life all that money affords. Supposedly people had thought maybe Hu Jintao would be someone who’d start the process toward democracy but once he got in it was all the same old thing. If a transition to a democratic society were to happen many people say it would be chaos. On these couches in the nicest Chinese living room I’ve ever been in, that chaos was limited if the transition was led from above. Sure a revolution would be chaotic but so much of that is because it would be a fight between the people and the government. If the government were to gradually institute more local-level elections and work its way up, there wouldn’t have to be blood. But how could that happen? It won’t as long as people have the feeling that things could be worse.

The top and middle these days have more and more to protect and the bottom can only steam and maybe have an occasional anti-Japanese riot/three minutes of hate. People are gradually getting better off (“Materially,” I interject. “In every way,” Holly corrects me, “There’s more free speech and better health care available and yeah.” I sit back chastened like the dumb westerner I happen to be.) and a lot of them see that as enough.

All this talking was happening out at Wang Xuefu’s house in the suburbs. Now my idea of suburbs is shaped by the small city I grew up in. Basically anything that’s not downtown is a suburb to me. Places with trees and lawns and such. This suburb is an hour and a half outside the city (by bus. Car or taxi mabe half an hour to 45 minutes) off shitty dirt roads and freeways. It’s more like living in Connecticut when you work in New York, or at least it seemed like that to me. One of the roads we got into a traffic jam on is the state road to Hangzhou. They’re building the subway out there so it’ll be more connected in a year or two.

Inside their subdivision though I thought I’d gone to hell. There are some little hills and a manmade lake his house backs (fronts?) onto. And it’s surrounded by these birthday cake tiered townhousey things just piled on each other. The definition of prefabbed nicety. White Ridge on the Pack ‘em In scale. The other side of their house faces a row of identical buildings across a cement tiled lawnspace. Xuefu stressed very insistently that he wasn’t a rich man, though his house was beautifully upper middle class. Three storeys, heated floors on the main and top levels. Dark stained wood staircase and dining room table. High ceilings with recessed lighting, space for a huge entertainment unit but holding a 24″ old TV. A beautiful office with skylight attached to the master bedroom. Everything very clean and relatively elegant. Lacking in art for the space but whatever. A whiteboard hung in the dining room which was a bit tacky or something but in general it made you forget you were in a townhouse. He bought out there a few years ago when there was nothing, so it was cheap. He’d “had a feeling it would soon be developed” from what he’d seen in the US. So he got in at the base and it’s already quadrupled in value. Good for them and all that.

He also has a silver Buick parked in the driveway. And really, to live out there now you need to have a car. He learned to drive in the States I think, but this winter in a snowstorm (not the big one, a couple of weeks before it) they’d been driving home from some town where they were doing some training and it was icy and shitty and he spun out in a 360. They decided to take safety as a priority over the law and Holly took the wheel. She had greater experience and got them home safely in the end.

Earlier this year the car got keyed when they were out somewhere and Holly was impressed that he didn’t flip out (he really loves this car). He did complain about the ignorance of whoever did it though. “Why does he have to take out his aggression on his fellow man?” Maybe the term he used was “common man.” In any case, Holly thought “You aren’t the guy’s fellow man; you have a car.” And a nice house in suburban hell.

The day after all this discussion Zhang Guo Xian was asking Holly about different countries. “What is your view on…Mexico?” kind of stuff. She said she likes all countries. “Even Japan?” asked Xiao Meng. “Yup.” And then with obvious practice Xiao Meng launched into “Well if you really loved China…” and Holly stormed away. I don’t blame her one bit. I absolutely detest that kind of narrow party-line view of Xiao Meng’s. Holly says she’s a very good and loving friend but she just can’t talk to her about what China is like. I know that since I don’t see (or at least understand) her being a loving good friend I really don’t like Xiao Meng. All I get is the cartoon villain snickering and this narrow narrow view of the world and the TV watching and stuff. If my Chinese were better… but it’s not. So I’m stuck here seeing and hearing what I can and what is explained to me. This is really a very useless document when I think clearly about it. All that humble bullshit up front is really true. Don’t think there’s any insight here.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

19 a night out

When did I stop being the leader of daring expeditions? Was I ever?

Last night we were deciding on what to do with our evening after a seemingly endless discussion of what James (Zheng Lei, the frustrated demagogue) and Holly are doing with their English Corner… sorry, English Island. He wants it small like a lecture series about his topics whereas Holly and Wang Yen(?) are more loose about who could be involved. Standing outside the crappy Sichuan restaurant they argued (sans Wang Yen), looking for compromise and issuing ultimata with Xiao Meng helping bitch about Sun Wen through it all.

“My condition,” he said, “is that you agree with me, or else I leave.” I laughed at the authoritarian impulse and how he’s all over exercising it. And Holly’s doing her help people get along and work it out thing while she’s being told to be a “strong leader,” not necessarily her style.

But when this was done with (James grumbling that he guesses if she’s an employee she has to follow her boss) Holly led us down to the building she used to teach in, for a trip up to the roof. That building’s down in Xin Jie Kou, the bright lights big city downtown of Nanjing and she’d been up on the roof once during the day. We took an elevator to the 32nd floor where we met a grey-uniformed security guard who turned us away very politely. We took the elevator down a floor and then found the stairs. On the 31st floor there was no guard, only cameras. We climbed quietly, especially past floor 32 where we’d left a vaguely alerted guard and the door to the stairwell was open. When we got to the top though, we were barred from the roof by a single gate. Padlocked. Down on the 31st floor where we caught the elevator a guard was now sitting behind glass. He didn’t say anything to us.

Then down we went to the Fashion Lady Mall, a cramped neon underground. We entered via Manicure Alley and didn’t proceed too far before Holly got sick of it. It was especially noisy cramped and packed. You felt you had to duck because of the neon ceilings with their shooting stars and constellations.

Then up and out and find a restaurant Holly half-remembered and up another high rise office building headed for the roof. We joined a suited young man headed for floor 23 but went to 27. Xiao Meng stayed back directly below the security camera while Holly and I didn’t care about being caught on video. This elevator was dingier than the last with its mirror walls and tile sunburst floor. And when we arrived on 27 (one below the top, just in case) the floor was dark, a single red power light blinking from the emergency lighting box. The stairs were lit though, and up we went until meeting up with another gate locked with a bicycle chain. This one didn’t even get us close to the roof. At the first one we could see the night outside, hear the wind, just not head out ourselves. This stairwell didn’t seem to require creeping, what with the dark abandoned floors we’d been on so far. That proved to be true on the 28th where it was just as dead as 27. We used our cell phones to light the way to the elevator button and descended. Picked up some people around 23 or maybe 18 and carried them along with us and out the main door and its gaggle of security guards who’d probably noticed us go in (hard not to see a couple of foreigners wandering through an office lobby at 8pm) and confidently ignored them as we stalked out. Holly accepted the fact that most buildings lock up their roofs so we set out for other entertainment.

The German Brauhaus lies beneath the World Trade Center. It’s vast, sprawling around the central escalators with a stage in one quadrant. I don’t know the band’s name but they were Filipino singing in English Chinese and Spanish. Five members, 3 girls one with short hair and a pouty lower lip who seemed to be having fun sometimes (let’s call her Gloria) and two long-haired women who really weren’t. Having fun. They did their lacklustre dance moves because it was their job. Behind them was a dumpier woman not wearing the short red skirt with white tank top combination. Holly thinks she was Gloria’s mom “They have the same mouth” but I’m not sure I saw it. She was DJing and popping in the occasional keyboard bit and some backup vocals.

The star of the show, however, was the guy. Tight red pants. Wife-beater accentuating his nipples. Dyed blonde styled-scruffy hair. Tattoos around his right arm. Red sleeve on his left. And he was a performer. He exuded performance, letting himself snap precisely through his motions while the girls were satisfied to remember what they were doing. He exulted in this, even though they had to use the lyric sheets down to the side for a lot of songs. When he headed out into the crowd for one guy’s birthday he “professed his love” through song, dragged him up and really seemed to want to share the moment, the joy of all this music. In the end the guy whose birthday it was told him he couldn’t love the gay singer – “I love her instead!” motioning to his girlfriend who was capturing it all in cellphone video glory. (Aside: yesterday browsing through Chinese DVDs I saw a flick called See You in YouTube. I wonder why Hollywood is so slow on that.)

There was also a Chinese guy with Phil Spector hair who, though not as talented a dancer, was whooping it up with as much heart as the singer through the Ricky Martin set. I wondered if the personality (because he didn’t seem incapacitatedly drunk) came first and he’d styled his hair in a big frizzy afro or if he’d been born with that hair and had to develop a personality to match it.

The other people I was intrigued with were a young group sitting by the stage on maybe a double date. A tall girl in a Japanese schoolgirl haircut and sweater sat next to a much shorter girl in a truckerish hat and green work shirt kind of thing. Hat smoked a cigarette seeming bored while Schoolgirl was enthralled and a prompt applauder. Across from them were the guys. One wore glasses and a sweater. Cool glasses from where I sat. He focused on the band, paying careful attention. Next to him his friend in a white shirt was singing along to every song, really getting into it. Everyonce in a while Hat would say something to Schoolgirl. They’d clink glasses and drink a bit of their dark beer. A couple of times I saw Hat singing along, her eyes dark holes devoid of excitement. I don’t know why but I fell just a tiny bit in love with her.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

18 arts and crafts

I remember first arriving in China and wanting to get into Chinese stuff. The traditional arts and things. Calligraphy. Tai Ji. I tried both of those at various Summer Language Programs in Beijing. Calligraphy is still something I think I could get okay at. With practice. I do enjoy making characters with a pen, so it’s just that much better with a brush isn’t it? Down at Zhi Mian they’ve got a calligraphed thing on the wall which was done by someone with his finger. I can’t remember if the guy had special connection with the institute or if it was what he’d written, which was blotchy as hell and difficult to make out. And at the mountain there was a bookstore with a dozen signed books in a glass case. Chinese signed books are a bit cooler than plain old English. You seem to see more character even in the simple sharpie lines. Just smooth like these writers spent their time writing. Who knew?

In terms of Tai Ji though, I was hopeless. I love the motions and the slowness and the stillness. But. I can’t follow along with a teacher in the patterns. In that courtyard I’d have to be craning my neck to see what was happening and then I’d lose my spot and quickly catch up, which sort of defeats the purpose. Holly’s learning an 86(?) step path and is somewhere around movement #4. Another woman in her class has been studying for two years and will almost know the whole thing. She encourages Holly to take it slowly, that way she’ll learn the moves correctly. There’s also the slight issue that Holly doesn’t know the names of all the moves just yet so when the instructor calls out “Pure Dragon Commences Up the Yellow Mountain … in Autumn” she has to watch to see which moves that corresponds with. A book would be helpful for this area of things. Just to get the names internalized. And being able to spout off like a Kung Fu master wouldn’t hurt too badly.

Chinese paintings with their big world, little person aesthetic are very pleasing. I suppose I should have prefaced that with Traditional. There’s lots of art out there that looks nothing like serene cliffs in the mist. Paintings that play with communist themes. Big people. All those baby Maos in that one gallery, huge and stark. Where did I read about that Da Shan Zi district being a place to rip off tourists with inauthentic contemporary art? Somewhere virtual I’m sure. I really liked some parts of that district. Especially that gallery 731? No that’s the Japanese biowarfare number. 716 maybe. [It's 798.] In any case, those miners and the lily-footed women pictures were enough to give me a positive feeling about it all. I wonder if there’s an artist district here in Nanjing or if everyone’s too busy being a southern money-maker to have any time for art. I should go wandering around Nan Da. There must be art students there.

The problem I have with the notion of buying art here is that the mass produced scroll paintings you get up at Beijing’s Pearl Market seem so similar to the ones hanging in galleries. But are they the equivalent to velvet Elvii? Probably. It’s one thing for my mom to have a cheap scroll inher house but I feel like I’m supposed to have good taste in these things. The problem is that I have never hung out with artisty types in China. I don’t know what to look for in good art. Yes yes it doesn’t matter. I should just get something I like the look of. I know. And I do. One of Holly’s old erhu teachers is learning how to do traditional ink painting. It’s all about how the ink flows over the page. You can’t quite harness it but can guide where it might end up if you know your tools well.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

14 jokes

Here’s a joke obviously not created by a strictly Chinese sense of humour:

Four national stereotypes are on a train or a bus or something. There’s a Japanese guy, an American, a Han Chinese, and a Tibetan. The Japanese guy listens to his mp3 player for a while until the song he likes is over, then he throws the mp3 player out the window. “What’d you do that for?” the multilingual community asks. He says “In Japan we have so many of these things it’s easier to throw them out and get a new one than to put new songs on the old one.”

The American is one of that noble dying breed, the smoker. He pulls out a pack of fancy American coffin nails, lights one cigarette and throws the rest of the pack out the window. “Why’d you do that?” they ask and he says “In America we’ve got so many cigarettes it’s easier to throw them out and get fresh ones than to try to preserve any one pack.”

If you’ve ever heard a joke before you know what the Tibetan guy then did.

Holly told that joke to Jo and Wang Wei. Predictably, they didn’t laugh. She says she was just testing it out on the coolest Chinese people she knew and won’t do it again. She totally will.

Phil told us a joke he’d heard in China:

How many steps does it take for an elephant to open the refrigerator?

One to open the door. One to grab the milk. And one to close the door.

Yes, that’s the joke. Holly made a slanderous remark about it being in league with the muffin joke.

Supposedly there are a bunch of Ant & Elephant jokes and Holly told me one but I don’t remember it. One thing I liked about the Long March book I read was how happily crude so many of the old interviewees were. All talking about farting and pissing and having a good laugh about wetting your pants in terror. Not so funny the woman whose period froze her pantleg in Tibet so sharp it cut her leg open in her sleep.

The rapes weren’t so funny either. Nor the murderous Tibetans. The Long Marchers were attacked ruthlessly by the people whose food they were supplying themselves with. The Tibetans had one growing season and had to live on what they stored. Then in marches this communist army. They left money and IOUs in the fields but that wouldn’t be much good to eat in the short term. So the Tibetans picked off stragglers and hung up their skinned bodies. They were barbarians protecting their yaks and their land. The temples were supply houses and the monks shot the hell out of the armies from inside.

I always think of the poor peaceful Tibetans, not the violently resisting Tibetans. It’s no wonder the Chinese wanted to subjugate the place. And out west, all the inhospitable places made for hard inhospitable people especially towards people coming in to change everything. In the poorest lands how do you agitate against the rich landowner? All so relative.

Here’s another joke. This one’s Chinese but I like it.

Son, father and grandfather are out chopping wood. Grandpa’s doing it all wrong (too many splinters maybe? too slow?) and Dad gets mad at him and starts yelling about what a lousy woodchopper the old man is. “You couldn’t chop a plank in two in the middle of a bandsaw thunderstorm” or something. What? I’m a master of wood-chopping metaphors all of a sudden?

So the son decides to stick up for granddad and yells at Dad. “How dare you disrespect your father like that you horrible thoughtless man!?”

Now if the listener didn’t quite get it you summarize the punchline as “So he was disrespecting his father!” And everyone laughs. Or at least Scott and I laugh. While Em rolls her eyes and starts up another dinosaur song. Oh the life we used to lead. The Tibetan joke Holly told is at least making fun of the people with all the power, not picking on the little guy.

Tagged , , , , , , , , ,

10 walls

Nanjing has city walls. Has had them for a very long time. Of course the city has grown far byond them in the last few thousand years. Think of that a moment. There’ve been people here since prehistoric times. Okay fine, Winnipeg’s had people hanging around that far back too. But there’s been an honest to god city here for a millenium. Maybe I’m wrong on the dates there, but seriously. It’s old.

Yesterday I went walking on the walls of Nanjing starting at Qing Liang Men. It was sunny and warm and quite pleasant. In that stretch of wall the inside is a hill while there’s a small river outside. I don’t know how much restoration’s been done to the wall but there are railings and lights I imagine weren’t original features. I walked along it (after mistakenly climbing atop the gate part which is separated from the rest by iron and barbed wire). The wall itself is sundered next to the gate for a road to go through and over a bridge. The wall is thick. Not as thick as Xian’s on which cars could easily pass each other, but thicker than most walls I’ve seen. You could pack a lot of insulation in there if it weren’t made of bricks. I followed the wall to where it unceremoniously ended, then considered scrambling down the steep hill to the junkyard below. I didn’t have any huge desire to become one with the trash though, so I turned around instead.

One of the main differences between this wall and Xian’s is the arrangement. Xian was out on a plain with (as far as I can remember) no major landscaping issues. So it went ahead with a simple square layout. It was Changan, the freaking centre of the world so why not be completely right-angled about things? Nanjing’s walls follow nature more. Built on the inside of Xuan Wu lake (Xuan Wu is one of the four mythical beasts that people aren’t sure exactly what it is. We’ve got those too: quick what does a manticore look like?) and the inside of this little river but encompassing this hill excluding that mountain. Much more haphazard. It reminds me more of the Great Wall than of Xian’s wall, really. Except for the gates. Those we never saw in the Chang Cheng.

The other day with Zhang Guo Xian we went to a different gate. Outside there was a man with a bicycle leaned against the wall and a grey coat hanging from some unseen hook. He was in his 40s-50s, wearing a green cabled sweater and walked in a weaving pattern separating the air before him. No, does that convey it properly? It’s like he was walking through beaded curtain after beaded curtain, lifting each one up so he could pass through unmolested. He walked like this for several minutes clearing out imaginary space for his work. And his work was some intricate Qi Gong. Not Taiji stuff which is slow and dancelike, but something you could see being used in a fight, were it sped up a bit. Very low, like he’d be punching people in the ankles a lot. I lost track of him while Zhang Guo Xian was talking. And then he was gone.

With Xian’s wall you can look across the whole city and get that sense that if you can’t see the wall opposite you it’s your own poor eyesight’s fault. When Aileen and I walked that wall (a quarter of it anyway) I felt like it was an Imperial kind of place. Demanding respect. This wall in Nanjing doesn’t do that as it winds here and there. There’s nowhere you feel like you could see across the city even if you tried. Too many hills and trees and such between. And besides where would you look? There’s nowhere it feels the wall has to be.

It always seemed weird how the Great Wall was built on the tops of all the hills it passed through. I suppose it’s so the besiegers couldn’t get the high ground and see what was going on behind it, but geez, what an engineering headache. And backache for all those poor dead workers. And then it couldn’t stop a yang rou chuar guy from getting through and letting the rest of the horde in after.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

08 meanders

I’ve been wandering around the area the last couple of days. I found the market which Holly isn’t too enamoured with. It’s a single alley that stretches a long way. Sort of covered, with people walking bicycles through. It’s such a gray day today even the browns of people’s jackets felt rich and vibrant. The red tubs were filled with eels and fish, most about hand-sized, some big catfish mooping about. Kidneys and other organs arrayed on wooden slabs. Bright orange carrots, one stall’s pale tomatoes (these were near the far end from my entry). Ducks huddled in cages next to a woman wearing a hat sorting out duck offal. They were doing their best to sleep off their last headaches. Chickens in cages too. No one gets left out.

Today’s colder than yesterday. There was no morning sun warming up these pages earlier. I’m writing at Holly’s desk on her balcony. This isn’t such a bad life, you know? Getting up in the morning, getting most of my pages done (but not all so as to preserve a bit of “Shit, I’m behind!” urgency), walking around, reading and trying to stay warm, If it weren’t for that last bit it’d be perfect. I knew in my head before I came that it’d be cold here, that being indoors was not a license to shed any clothing keeping you together. My body did not remember how much it hates the cold. I did the same thing my mother did: marvel the first night then shiver the rest of them away. Egypt sure would have been a good place to go for me. Too bad about the Mennonites. But when the sun forces its way through to this tiled room and I’m here waiting with my glass of tea and my blackly absorbent best, it’s all right. If only the sun didn’t have to move and hit the whole world with its rays. But it does and later I’ll be cold again. Ever on and on.

“The Post Office is always a humbling experience” she said. Funny that it should show up so soon in all the language learning exercises. But in those circumscribed little worlds on the page everyone is only asking for one stamp or an envelope and they’ve never forgotten the characters for their return address or tried to send a CD in an envelope not a box. Though really, how hard is it? I’ve sent things to Canada and China from these post offices haven’t I? I brought in huge boxes and said “Dao Jianada” and eventually off they went. Maybe it’s not that post offices are humbling but that they reward ignorance. For their own inscrutable reasons.

We ate huge fried jiaozi for dinner last night. The beef ones were delicious, the veggie less so, as always. China doesn’t reward the vegetarian the way some places do. I mean I’m not denying the existence of some delicious vegetarian restaurants and dishes (actually I think I am denying delicious veggie dishes outside of those delicious restaurants) but to get the best this cuisine has to offer I truly believe you must eat meat. I’ve read about how to get by as a vegetarian here. The guidebooks talk about saying you are a Buddhist (following FoJiao) if you really want a vegetable dish sans any pork at all, and it makes me sad a little. All those poor Buddhists not partaking in the best part of this area’s material world. Much harder to go without in a land of embarrassing riches. All that contrast. And then there was that lying American teacher Leon made her video of, with his shaved head and meditation speech. He supplicated on the vegetarian topic. “There are so many delicious dishes to choose from.” And I’m reminded that “the best part is that I don’t even have a brother!”

Tagged , , , , , ,

07 nanjing welcome

So on first impressions Nanjing doesn’t seem like a raped city. I’ve been here two days and haven’t seen any scars. I have seen four jolly nuns carrying gorceries back to their temple. There is something great about Buddhist nuns. I don’t know what their lives are like in their nunneries or what have you but they seem… this generalization doesn’t work. Why would a nun seem any more happy than anyone else? Shaved head does not equal perfectly enlightened and non-attached. I should know.

But so far the city’s scars haven’t been visible. I’ve never been to a place where horrible things happened before (publicly at least) and I don’t know what I was expecting. Japanese flags underfoot? A Sony boycott? Grim faces scoured deep with hidden knowledge? Whatever that may be I haven’t seen it yet. We haven’t been to the museum/memorial yet though.

Holly’s roommate in their tiny apartment is named Fan Rong (I think. Holly usually calls her Xiao Meng). I’m not a big fan of her. Part of that comes down to the language thing of course. I can’t understand her and she seems to delight in testing me. Yesterday at lunch she was complaining about my chopstick technique, how it wasn’t standard. Holly says this is her being a “product of China.” She knows how things are supposed to be and wants to correct them. The complete lack of that impulse is why I am not a real teacher. She’s “strong” in the Chinese sense meaning “not a frail tiny girl” and may possibly be attracted to Holly, though there’s a boy she likes in Shanghai but it’s all very confusing. Evidently she watches a lot of TV and has annoying habits but Holly finds her to be a very good roommate companion in this city. “Sure it’d be nice if she liked to do interesting things but you can’t have everything.” And that is very true.

Also down at the Zhi Mian office is another volunteer Zhang Guo Xian. He’s small and thin with an utterly standard haircut and hard to understand English (and Chinese sayeth Holly). Yesterday he took us out for a walk to the city wall that is nearby. He sort of got lost but kept chatting all the while. His major in school was biopsychology, which involved electrodes in monkeybrains. Now he is interested in old things he says. He’s lived in Beijing and now Nanjing and spoke highly of Xian.

I find myself wishing people wouldn’t speak English to me because then I have to listen to them. When they’re chatting with Holly in putonghua I get to tune them out and look around. My impatience didn’t come across to Zhang Guo Xian though, as afterwards he told Holly how I was “deeper than the two of us” (meaning Holly and him). That’s quite a first impression to give off. I wonder if I’ll break it in the time I’m here.

Tagged , , , , , ,

23 mud-dumb naomi

Holly’s been a bit of a connection point for people here this month. Not just me and Cheryl but that woman in Shanghai who wants to proselytize through counselling, Rod and Bert Lobe and now this Naomi, an American German who’s doing a dissertation on the Chinese church. She was introduced to Wang Xuefu through a woman named Katherine in Munich. She’d talked with Don Snow the day before and was hoping to get more introductions through Xuefu’s connections at the Nanjing seminary. Evidently they don’t like foreigners coming wandering in without an appointment (as we tried to do with Cheryl).

In my limited interactions with Naomi (as usual Holly talked with her more) she seemed dumb as mud. Holly says her Chinese was good, which is always a big plus in her view, but when she spoke in English it made me mad that people might have to call her Doctor whatever her surname is. Maybe it was an act designed to gather information. All “Shucks golly whatever could be going on with seminaries in China?” so people would tell her more, like she was some sort of child. She’d done a literature undergrad then a German Studies Master’s and now she thought she’d like to do a PhD in something she was interested in, like China. She doesn’t have a theology background but wanted to do something theological because her father and grandmother are theologians. She also wanted to do a PhD which would be solely a dissertation so she didn’t have to learn anything else. A friend of her father’s said he could swing that through the University of Wales and now here she is making connections and finding out stuff like “Going to house churches and studying them would put them in danger” and that China’s really big, so maybe some focus might be in order.

I guess some of my dislike for her came from this connection-making which seems to be her means of success in whatever form. As someone who has no connections and no means of making or using connections (see my failed attempts to use that whole Mennonite thing post-CEE) I like to see people display ability. And that she didn’t do. In my eyes. She was so focused on the details of who to submit her questionnaire to she didn’t listen to what Wang Xuefu was saying to her. She was incredulous at an 8:40am meeting he arranged, though she didn’t turn it down. Maybe I was just turned off by her “That was really tough” outside the Massacre Memorial. Maybe it was her accent. I just want people who have more credentials/esteem/status/whatever in society to seem like they should be in that position. Just because I’m slumming along at a nothing kind of job I get resentful of stupid people climbing a career path I got out of.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

35b last days

While my last Saturday was cold and rainy, my last Sunday was cold and windy, and more importantly, sunny enough to go on a picnic. We got PiJiu roasted duck which we ate with our fingers along with baozi and bings. Mmm bings.

We took all those goodies and a blanket out to the free lake at the mountain. It took a lot of looking to find the precise lake Holly wanted. We passed one perfectly acceptable lake/pond with ample picnic space only to wander by jackhammering beautification projects. In the end we found a good spot on top of a hill with a good view of the mountain and the (remarkably square) lake.

The bus out to the mountain had been packed with middle school students who’d gotten off a stop before the park, but we could hear them (or at least students in similar uniforms) marching and shouting their way through their outing. I wonder what percentage of them were having fun.

I’d been worried the pig brain might have instituted some sort of psychological block against and and all animal parts but I was fine with the duck (which Holly pointed out, does very little to disguise its duckishness). The wind was coldest when you sat up so we ended up lying down and talking with eyes closed against the sun. Zhao Xing called and if he were a jealous man, the way Holly said we were lying on a blanket outside could easily have been misinterpreted. But he was more concerned with discussing an article and video in regards to the whole current Tibet situation. The video (which we went to a WangBa to watch because Holly didn’t have the keys to the office) was very historical, no wait, hysterical and made many statements of fact regarding Tibet, China, the CIA and the Dalai Lama. I don’t even know where to start responding to something like that.

It was kind of a last kick at Holly’s talking out of her life these days. She was getting a bit self-conscious about all her complaining by the end, but really, what do I care? It was conversation. I’m good at listening to people talk. I should be a bartender in some local pub somewhere. Anyway. I guess that’s the kind of thing people do. Listen without offering much by way of practical advice. One of the ideas floating through my head for if Holly ever gets her organic farm/guesthouse set up is to use it as a writing retreat place sort of deal. I enjoy China as a writing place. It works for me; sort of inspiring. I mean, there are just people whose appearances stimulate questions. On the subway the guy with the Mao haircut and the horrible bit of a thumbnail and the dustiest shabbiest dress shoes I’ve seen on a (non bangbang) man. Not like Canada where it’s so much easier to attribute people to their categories without thinking, just cause I know the categories so much better.

We listened to my Circles Within Circles CD on my final evening. I tried to explain the story and its circling nature but I don’t think I was quite effective. That CD is a story I should write. It’s not an original story but it has that wood and rust coloration that I feel I should make some effort to capture. The story, the CD as a whole I should say, seemed a bit sad for Holly. Maybe just because it was my last night and she’s about as good as I am at saying goodbye. We’re both ignorers of the facts staring us down. Awkward glances at the clock. There were a couple of “Well. Back to Canada” comments that fell down a well while we listened to songs people sent her from across the sea. And brought her too, since mine made it into the mix. “I like this song because I like singing along to it. You probably like songs for other reasons.”

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , ,

35a catching up

My vegetarian stretching discovered its exact limit and that is the brain of a pig. I was fine all through cheap hotpot with Xiao Meng, her brother, cousin and one of their friends. I watched the congealed duck blood get slid into the spicy broth. I avoided the fish gut slime deftly. I even laughed (to myself) about the pig brain when it was sitting uncooked in front of Holly, and when she tried to cut it into manageable chunks. It was in the nonspicy broth and I paid it no attention. Holly got a section that neatly lobed off from the rest, which was interesting to see, but then the next section ended up on my plate and I couldn’t eat anything anymore. It was probably supposed to be impressive but I had to fight to keep from vomiting. Man, I’m a lousy Chongqingren.

Earlier that day I’d eaten delicious baozi for lunch then spent the afternoon reading a biography of Jung in various places. One was the apartment, another was the Avant Garde, then Holly arrived and after a while we went to the library. It was immense but wasted a lot of space. The two towers were where the (rigidly defined separated and defended) collections were, while the connecting granite walkways were cold and skylit. We weren’t supposed to be in any of the collections without a library card, which made my public property hackles rise a pile. And my censorship/freedom of information nerves too. But whatever. It’s their city. Fuck the IDless if they want to. We eventually found couch-like things on the main level where it was coldest. Selah.

From there we walked to hotpot and stopped at the foreign language bookstore on the way so Holly could look at HSK materials. There was a children’s book at the bookshop with a wonderful bucolic English riding scene with rosy-cheeked children wearing red riding-coats and black helmets, the whole deal. Inside were English children’s stories for warming the cockles of your heart with the innocence of yesteryear. Story #63 was about three applicants to the CIA who are asked to kill their wives with a provided gun. Two refuse but the third fires all the blanks and then his explanation why it took so long was “So then I had to strangle the bitch!” Incongruous much? We laughed and laughed. They also had a history of the Dalai Lamas which ended in 1958. I really wanted to buy it but didn’t. It was too big and bulky and not uproarious enough for my tastes in propaganda. That evening we finally watched the Darjeeling Limited, which made me ever so happy. It’s so orchestrated. You never feel you’re watching something real

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 237 other followers