Happily, loads of people were confused by the lack of Shanghai Lu stop on the airport bus. We walked from Hanzhong Men even though we were both almost falling asleep standing. Got home and fell into beds. I had a lot of catching up to do in my writing so the Monday day was uneventful. That’s not true. I got the best baozi ever for lunch. The middle aged woman with the matronly hair smiled in recognition when I got my Cai Bao and my San Ding Bao. I’ve been there a bunch of times now. Feels good to be recognized.
I went to help Holly eat her snacks at the Paulaner Brauhaus where Sprite costs 35 RMB and coffee with two snacks cost 36. The pretzel was good. Very eggy and soft. The crumble cake had a bit of a petroleumish taste around the edges though maybe it was just a touch of freezerburn. Holly thought the top was cheeselike but I got none of that feeling.
And we were up on the roof and Holly was writing and so was I. Holly feels good when she’s writing. “I don’t want to be a writer, but I feel complete or something when I’m doing it.” That’s not at all how I feel about it. I like the finished product I made (sometimes) not the getting there. I need to do these quota kinds of things to keep going. Holly keeps on describing me as a very good writer which simply isn’t true. Not yet at least. This book was supposed to be more of a finished product than it’s become. Now it’s just notes on a trip. Which is fine. I realize that the book this turns into will be ditching the Tome stuff [which hasn’t been posted here -JJU] which can find its way into the Place novel. It doesn’t feel right in here. I’ll take all these notes and reorder them. Maybe back into the Wittgenstein order. Leave the blog entries raw and shape the stuff from the notebooks. I think my memory’s up to that now. I might be ready.
We played ping pong with Xiao Meng and her brother last night. They seem like a good happy brother and sister combo. Later at Behind the Wall we drank sangria and he complained about his lack of girlfriend and we learned Xiao Meng’s Shanghai boy is back in Nanjing. And her brother asked why I don’t date Xiao Meng. Holly laughed adding a “She’s so beautiful!” My easy answer was that I don’t date friends’ friends. That worked at the time though it is a lie. That would basically cut my dating pool down to zero. Which it might as well be but I don’t feel like getting drunk and crying about it.
At the airport I told Holly how I never called Joy back when she left that message on my phone a year and whatever ago. I just couldn’t stand the sound of her voice. It is weird how you can decide things in a fraction of a second. It builds, of course, but everything flips in one little moment. Holly told me how she doesn’t believe our loves are destined and she got mad at Jesse [an ex-boyfriend] when he wanted to leave it up to God if they’d stay together or not.baozi bar behind the wall holly joy nanjing shanghai lu the hangman xiao meng